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" They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best. "

Craig Ferguson

Thought

Best

Long

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" Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something. "

" For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards - going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable. "

" It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy. "

" Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar. "

" I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move. "

Craig Ferguson

Time

Day

" I realized women and humor were linked very closely. "

" I used to believe, like many people who come from poor backgrounds, that it gave me an edge, but I think that's just something we have to tell ourselves to get by sometimes. I don't believe that anymore. Children of privilege can be just as talented and clever as anybody else. "

Craig Ferguson

People

Children

" I am probably a pseudo-intellectual. "

Craig Ferguson

I Am

" I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don't care for it. "

" I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest. "

" I'm careful with money. "

Craig Ferguson

Careful

Money

" I try and live my life in bite-size chunks. "

" I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living. "

" I don't get emails from my corporate overlords. "

" I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. "

" I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained. "

" I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now. "

Craig Ferguson

Young

Right

" I wanted to be a rock star. "

" Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!' "

Craig Ferguson

Paris

Now

" I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny. "

" I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. "

Craig Ferguson

Self-Esteem

Think

" I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.' It's an appropriate feeling to feel. "

" If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone. "

" I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.' "

" The truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes. "

" I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost. "

" You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff. "

" A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself. "

" I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.' "

" I am reasonably happy. I didn't find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now. "