Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I feel non-stop Brit shame! "

Related Quotes:

" Politics has become infused with narcissism in America. "

" I would hate to meet myself at 15. "

" When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery. "

" I have occasionally - if ever I do interviews that are difficult or nerve-wracking - I take my wife's dog tags and have them in my pocket because it's a very quick way to realize that what I'm doing is not that important. It's not really worth getting stressed about because it's not, you know, war. "

" Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back. "

" If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian. "

" It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "

" As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more. Really, the fall of an empire is not as bad as everyone thinks. It's like retirement. People fear retirement, but it can turn out be rather pleasant. "

" I wanted to be a soccer player. I knew that couldn't happen. "

" Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury. "

" Politicians don't really bring up religion in England. "

" If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences. "

" Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you. "

" Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being. "

" I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think. "

" People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing. "

" There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that. "

" In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face. And that's really not a good instinct with a 'Daily Show' field piece, where it's supposed to be an interview. "

" I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression. "

" People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show'... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor. "

" I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes. "

" I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free. "

" The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not. "

" My first 'Daily Show' piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I'd gotten the green card. I said, 'I got my green card yesterday.' And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief. "

" Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect. "

" The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator. "

" I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go. "

" Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go. "

" You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. "

" It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be. "