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" I do a big roast of Trump during my set now - which I clearly expanded on - because there's so much to make fun of him about now. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Now
Him
Fun
Related Quotes:
" I order food like a normal human being. If I'm out to lunch, I'm going to order three courses like everybody else. I'm not going to feel like some kind of freak. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Lunch
Three
Feel
" Don't laugh at a hair joke, Trump. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Trump
Laugh
Joke
" I'm obsessed with reality TV anyway - I use my knowledge of that stuff to make jokes on Twitter and Facebook to get more people to sign up to be fans. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Jokes
Knowledge
People
" I'm not a private person. I like hanging out and talking to fans. But my life isn't so interesting that you want to see the inside of it. "
Lisa Lampanelli
My Life
Interesting
Life
" I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable - diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the health spa property, and I still gained weight. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Trying
Health
Sick
" Until I got the weight off, there was something inside of me that said, 'You hate yourself.' You get too depressed over the weight to really work on this. For whatever reason, I had to take the weight off to do this work. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Work
Said
Me
" Ticket sales will get higher the day after roasts. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Ticket
Day
Get
" Crazy diets, good diets, you can't name one I didn't do. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Name
Diets
Good
" Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the prize was fire. "
Lisa Lampanelli
White
Old
Her
" I've really been working on the emotional and internal issues that made me eat in the first place. It's been a real journey. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Place
Real
Working
" I'm a take-no-prisoners type of comic, and I'm lucky because my fans get me and never have a problem with the politically incorrect themes of my act. But I am continually amazed by how a certain section of our society seems to be so freakin' sensitive about jokes. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Problem
Society
I Am
" I lost over 100 pounds, so I'm even angrier than ever. I don't stuff my feelings anymore with food. Skinny girls are funny. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Lost
Skinny
Feelings
" I lasted seven years as a journalist, and I've been doing comedy for twenty years. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Twenty
Journalist
Doing
" This thing happened where I noticed anytime I got together with four friends or more, the conversation goes to food. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Conversation
Together
Friends
" I hate comics who look at comedy as therapy. But at least it gets things out of my system in a funny way. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Way
Hate
Funny
" Too many people have already lost their lives to HIV and AIDS, and the more celebrities who can bring attention to the issue, the better. "
Lisa Lampanelli
People
Attention
Better
" I'm not a political comic at all, so it would be weird if I just turned into a preachy, sort-of political commentator. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Political
Weird
Comic
" What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Life
Real Life
You
" I thought I had to work at someplace everybody's heard of. It was never, 'I'm interested in such and such. I want to work in such and such magazine.' It was like, 'Oh, my G-d, I really need to work for somebody so people will think I'm OK.' So I got a job at 'Popular Mechanics'. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Think
Job
Need
" I'm not gonna ruin my reputation with the blacks no more. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Gonna
Ruin
Reputation
" I feel that if I retire today, I've done enough. I've achieved everything in comedy... I feel I don't need anything else. It's already built. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Done
Feel
Enough
" When I decided to do 'The Celebrity Apprentice,' there was absolutely no question that I would play the game for GMHC. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Question
Play
Game
" I looked around and couldn't believe no one has written a show about women and eating. It's the biggest issue women have. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Eating
Around
Believe
" The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual,' but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Me
Dating
Time
" By Hollywood standards I'm still fat: until you are zero, you are big. I do get cold a lot now. I used to have a lot of layers - now I got to get a fur coat. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Fat
You
Now
" I say every slur on the planet - racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet - and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Know
Group
Ignorance
" I kind of knew inside that I wanted to try comedy, but it was a mystery. How do you start? So when I hit 30 and I had done everything I wanted to do in journalism, so I went to a comedy class. I figured I'd learn how to do five minutes and see how it feels. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Start
Mystery
Journalism
" I'm not ready to die yet. I have, like, 40 years left that I have to make up for all of the trouble I caused in my first 50 years. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Trouble
Left
Like
" We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate. "
Lisa Lampanelli
House
Always
How
" I just really work hard on myself every day. "
Lisa Lampanelli
Day
Every Day
Myself