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" I don't believe in storks. I know they don't deliver babies; they deliver pickles. "

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" I have friends who are black, white, purple, gay, straight, Martian, yellow, old, and young. I have friends who are animals and a few who I believe to be robots. All of them are people to me. In my mind, it's not about what you look like or what you do; it's about who you are inside. "

" Parents should support and love their kids no matter what. "

" As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life. "

" We need to learn to laugh at ourselves because when you don't laugh, you cry. And I don't feel like crying. "

" I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye. "

" Rock bottom for some people is death. Some people never learn from their mistakes. They don't learn from other people's mistakes. "

" It gets scary when you're dealing with people who don't know how to separate fact from fiction. "

" Life smacks Tracy Morgan in the face, and I don't mean to talk in third party, but no, it doesn't stop raining when I come outside, no, absolutely not. I'm very in touch. "

" I'm not getting any younger. You're not getting any younger, so yeah. You age. "

" God gave us dreams, but he gave us kids to make all those dreams worthwhile. And when I look at all my kids, I say everything that I've ever went through in my life was worthwhile. "

" Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that. "

" I have a heart. I want people to see me with their heart and not their eyes. "

" I want to be an example of a guy who made something of himself out of nothing. A guy who overcame the odds of a tough childhood, who worked hard, who didn't let his surroundings get the best of him and lead him to jail or the graveyard. Where I ended up - being a comedian, a TV star, and a movie actor - might be unique, but my story is not. "

" I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets. "

" I do comedy for real people. "

" I don't do drama. I'm a comedian. "

" They say that every Jewish person is supposed to love one black person in his life. I'm glad Lorne Michaels chose me. "

" I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place. "

" You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker. "

" My older brother was born, who was a cripple, then I was born, and my sister was born, the only girl. So I was between the only girl and the crippled guy. I was the middle guy. "

" Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music. "

" Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. You have to see how you're carrying yourself because there's a little girl. There's not a little boy, there's a little girl. I think I'm a little more overprotective. "

" I have my Lucky Charms in the morning, and I feel magical. "

" I don't see myself as angry, although other people see that. I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate. "

" Sometimes I think we're exposed to things we shouldn't be exposed to too early. I think that sets the tone to a person's whole life. Trauma. "

" If I make fun of somebody at my show, believe me, it's something we can all laugh at. "

" You gotta understand, my great-grandfather was German and Irish. My grandmother was Indian, and my grandfather was African-American, so we all got a little something in us. "

" Most people don't know what's happening around them because they're just speeding through life. And before they know it, they're just old. So I just try to slow it down. "

" I have a nice following in Boston. The Boston crowd is very hip. "

" I'm a human being. I feel all emotions. I'm not just happy all the time. Sometimes, I'm sad and feel the blues. Sometimes I even want to feel the blues. Sometimes, you want to feel down. "