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" We need to learn to laugh at ourselves because when you don't laugh, you cry. And I don't feel like crying. "

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" I don't see myself as angry, although other people see that. I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate. "

" Most creative thing I've ever done? Got somebody pregnant. "

" When I want to work on my material, I go to Benihana or the barbershop. "

" I had a great time working on 'Saturday Night Live.' It was one of the important times in my life. "

" Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music. "

" People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right. "

" I'm a black man in America, so I'm going to be misunderstood. "

" I have friends who are black, white, purple, gay, straight, Martian, yellow, old, and young. I have friends who are animals and a few who I believe to be robots. All of them are people to me. In my mind, it's not about what you look like or what you do; it's about who you are inside. "

" All women like to look up to their men. "

" I don't have anything against Jimmy Fallon. I love Jimmy Fallon. He's my dude. "

" When you see me on the street, act like you know me. "

" I'm no Jerry Seinfeld. I wasn't raised with some backyard with a creek and trees and all that. "

" I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit. "

" I'm a human being. I feel all emotions. I'm not just happy all the time. Sometimes, I'm sad and feel the blues. Sometimes I even want to feel the blues. Sometimes, you want to feel down. "

" I know how bad bullying can hurt. I was bullied when I was a kid. "

" If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that curiosity might kill cats, but it doesn't kill people. "

" It's like going to the zoo when you come to my house. I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. "

" When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it. "

" I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, and I consider myself lucky and blessed to be where I am - just working. "

" To me, politics is a pile of tricks. "

" If you're the kind of person who likes numbers and statistics, I'm the long shot - the Lotto Powerball winner. I'm the mutation in the DNA that makes evolution a reality. I am the new black. "

" Ladies are honest. They're my motivation. They know what's funny, and the dudes just follow. "

" My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of 'The Color Purple.' It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same. "

" If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place. "

" I'm not getting any younger. You're not getting any younger, so yeah. You age. "

" What you have to understand is that my thing is not glamour. I love stretch marks and C-section scars and all of that. I'm a grown man. You don't gotta put on no makeup with me. "

" Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes. "

" If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned. "

" Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee. "

" My older brother was born, who was a cripple, then I was born, and my sister was born, the only girl. So I was between the only girl and the crippled guy. I was the middle guy. "