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" I do comedy for real people. "

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" I would love to try action films. "

" Whenever I perform, people get me because I'm talking about things that people can identify with and relate to. I'm not just up there doing jokey, jokey, joke. "

" The paparazzi do what they do, man. They have a job, too. "

" I was like any other inner-city kid with a chip on his shoulder because his daddy and his mommy wasn't together. "

" I don't get on the phone and prank people and things like that on the phone with people, no. "

" What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment. I want to feel it all because I've realized nothing lasts. "

" God gave us dreams, but he gave us kids to make all those dreams worthwhile. And when I look at all my kids, I say everything that I've ever went through in my life was worthwhile. "

" I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes. "

" I come from where Mike Tyson came from. I come from right across the street from Jay-Z. I didn't have a pond in my backyard. I saw violence. "

" If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned. "

" My older brother was born, who was a cripple, then I was born, and my sister was born, the only girl. So I was between the only girl and the crippled guy. I was the middle guy. "

" You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker. "

" Most creative thing I've ever done? Got somebody pregnant. "

" If you can get your life down to one minute at a time, you don't miss anything. You have total abundance of information and material. "

" In New York, we get down. In L.A., everybody's pretty much standing around like they're at a keg stand. You got to get the party started, so I just take my shirt off. "

" I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets. "

" Ladies are honest. They're my motivation. They know what's funny, and the dudes just follow. "

" To me, politics is a pile of tricks. "

" The sexiest part of a woman's body is the back of her kneecaps. "

" Welcome to post-racial America. I'm the face of post-racial America. "

" I'm not perfect, but I strive for it. "

" So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah. "

" As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life. "

" Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses. "

" A stand-up's job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we're afraid of. That's why we had shows like 'All in the Family' and 'The Jeffersons.' We made fun of ourselves then. "

" I know how people are. We fixate on controversy and all that. "

" Of all the sicknesses, there is probably none more abusive than homophobia. "

" I have the person at home, the person who has his privacy, too. Michael Jackson didn't do the moonwalk in his kitchen. "

" Whatever I did on 'Saturday Night Live' is going to stay and remain on 'Saturday Night Live.' "

" I've gone through my trials and tribulations, and sure, it's gotten bumpy and all that, but I'm here. OK? "