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" My job is to make people laugh. If I've upset them instead, then I haven't done my job properly. "

Dominic Holland

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" Growing up, I was always enthralled by Ronnie Barker. He made my dad howl with laughter, which always intrigued me, and he had the rare gift of being as good a performer as he was a writer. "

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" I am the first to admit that I have never been a household name. "

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" Seeing a full room of punters queuing for my show is always heartening. "

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" Edinburgh is the most pressurised environment to do comedy. You get an hour. There's no compere. You'd better be on the money straight away; you've got journalists in. "

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" I was spectacularly average at school, while my two brothers did really well academically. But my dad never said I didn't try hard enough. He knew I did my best. "

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" There is nothing quite as loud as the silence of an audience when a comedian is on stage. "

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" I must say that I am rather partial to funny dog videos. "

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" I don't like false modesty. "

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" For comics, Edinburgh makes no financial or medical sense. Get an audience; that's the first task. Once the punters are in, simply make them laugh for an hour, and then sweat on the critics. "

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" No one likes a pushy parent, and, 'pride' being one of the seven deadly sins, I needed to tread very carefully when creating a show about my eldest son, Tom, better known as Peter Parker and even better known as Marvel's new 'Spider-Man.' "

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" I had a crisis of confidence and ran away from being a standup for a while. "

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" Invest your money safely. Avoid the risky lure of spectacular returns; go for an investment that cannot lose its value. This is why I have put all my spare cash into buying not shares, but thousands of penny chews. "

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" Tom has a gilded life which I have had a glimpse of. Yes, he does travel in private jets. "

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" I like to call myself numerically dyslexic, but officially, I am mathematically thick. "

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" When I phoned up and said, 'Mum, I'm doing a 52-date national tour with Eddie Izzard,' she said 'That's nice, dear. How are you?' "

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" My story is comic because I've spent vast amounts of effort trying to become a Hollywood screenwriter and made no direct effort on making my son a movie actor. "

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" I might get a break again, and I might get back on telly. If I don't, I'll just keep doing stand-up and doing the best gigs I can. "

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" I find it pressurising coming to the Voodoo Rooms to do my hour of comedy. "

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" I've written 'Eclipsed' as a funny story. It is completely bonkers. "

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" All kids should vote - it gives them the opportunity to whinge afterwards because you can't complain if you haven't voted. "

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" When I was a little boy, I was fascinated by the way my dad used to laugh at the telly, and from a very early age, I had an idea of what was funny and why people laughed. "

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" It is the natural order of things that successive generations will achieve more than their predecessors. "

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" My Fiat Multipla is bright green - it looks like a frog. I look like a monkey, so between the two of us, we are a hideous prospect. It's the ugliest car on the road but the most practical, and I would live and die by it. "

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" I always think stand-up is the most brutal environment for a comedian. "

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" Making people laugh is the only thing I've ever done naturally. "

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" Stand-up comedy is not for the faint-hearted or the thin-skinned. "

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Stand-Up Comedy

" How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs. "

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" I am not a natural show-off. Some of the monster comedians are terrifyingly assured, and I don't have that, and that's held me back. "

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" Many years ago, I was a young and, dare I say it, very hot new comedian. Maybe even the hottest of all if the now defunct Perrier panel of judges were to be believed. "

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" I'm a confident person next to the guy in the street, but if you go into the showbiz world, it seems the guys who are most successful are the most confident, and I don't think I fit into that category. "

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