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" I've written 'Eclipsed' as a funny story. It is completely bonkers. "
Dominic Holland
Funny
Funny Story
Story
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" In my career, all my most important breaks have come from Edinburgh. Winning awards, being reviewed, bagging my BBCR4 series and the chance to tour has all come from Edinburgh, which begs the question, why the hell have I left it so long to come back? "
Dominic Holland
Important
Long
Hell
" Because it's such a good car, I think we'll have a Multipla till the kids leave home, which is tragic because I could probably afford a really nice car! "
Dominic Holland
Car
Good
Home
" I had a crisis of confidence and ran away from being a standup for a while. "
Dominic Holland
Crisis
Confidence
Being
" Even though Bandos is one of the biggest islands in the Maldives, it only takes 20 minutes to walk round. All it has are some chalets and a little harbour centre with three restaurants and a bar. The food is magnificent. "
Dominic Holland
Food
Three
Walk
" Seeing a full room of punters queuing for my show is always heartening. "
Dominic Holland
Show
Always
Full
" It is the natural order of things that successive generations will achieve more than their predecessors. "
Dominic Holland
Natural
Will
Achieve
" Growing up, I was always enthralled by Ronnie Barker. He made my dad howl with laughter, which always intrigued me, and he had the rare gift of being as good a performer as he was a writer. "
Dominic Holland
Me
Gift
Good
" I must say that I am rather partial to funny dog videos. "
Dominic Holland
Dog
I Am
Funny
" Never trust a television executive. "
Dominic Holland
Trust
Television
Executive
" My job is to make people laugh. If I've upset them instead, then I haven't done my job properly. "
Dominic Holland
Done
Laugh
Job
" Tom has a gilded life which I have had a glimpse of. Yes, he does travel in private jets. "
Dominic Holland
Yes
Travel
Private
" A barrel of laughs should be enough, but it's not. A good review is official and endures. A bad one is like a tub of Flora. It spreads easily and lasts for the whole festival. "
Dominic Holland
Tub
Bad
Enough
" I like to call myself numerically dyslexic, but officially, I am mathematically thick. "
Dominic Holland
I Am
Myself
Am
" I might get a break again, and I might get back on telly. If I don't, I'll just keep doing stand-up and doing the best gigs I can. "
Dominic Holland
Again
Back
Best
" No one likes a pushy parent, and, 'pride' being one of the seven deadly sins, I needed to tread very carefully when creating a show about my eldest son, Tom, better known as Peter Parker and even better known as Marvel's new 'Spider-Man.' "
Dominic Holland
Son
Better
Creating
" My story is comic because I've spent vast amounts of effort trying to become a Hollywood screenwriter and made no direct effort on making my son a movie actor. "
Dominic Holland
Story
Trying
Hollywood
" Edinburgh is the most pressurised environment to do comedy. You get an hour. There's no compere. You'd better be on the money straight away; you've got journalists in. "
Dominic Holland
Comedy
Better
You
" I am not a natural show-off. Some of the monster comedians are terrifyingly assured, and I don't have that, and that's held me back. "
Dominic Holland
Me
Back
I Am
" The house I've bought in London, the holidays, everything has been bought from making people laugh, and if you'd said to me when I was 14 that's how I was going to make my living, I would have smiled from ear to ear. "
Dominic Holland
Me
You
People
" I was spectacularly average at school, while my two brothers did really well academically. But my dad never said I didn't try hard enough. He knew I did my best. "
Dominic Holland
Best
School
Try
" How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs. "
Dominic Holland
How
Comedy
Doing
" Where I live in south London, it is a very Tory area, so a Labour vote is a wasted vote. My leanings would certainly be not to vote Tory. "
Dominic Holland
Vote
London
Live
" When I do a show, I jot little notes for me to remember, and when the show is done and forgotten, I chuck them all over the car. My wife goes nuts. "
Dominic Holland
Nuts
Remember
Wife
" I just talk about the funny things in my life, and the idea is that my observations reflect the lives of my audience - so people are really laughing at themselves. This is the theory, anyway, and I am aware that in print, that it doesn't appear to be very funny. But it is, and I am definitely funny. "
Dominic Holland
I Am
My Life
People
" Invest your money safely. Avoid the risky lure of spectacular returns; go for an investment that cannot lose its value. This is why I have put all my spare cash into buying not shares, but thousands of penny chews. "
Dominic Holland
Investment
Value
Lose
" I am the first to admit that I have never been a household name. "
Dominic Holland
Admit
Been
Never
" I have tried many times to write a TV sitcom - with little success. "
Dominic Holland
Tried
Many
TV
" I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire. "
Dominic Holland
General
Wit
Professional
" For comics, Edinburgh makes no financial or medical sense. Get an audience; that's the first task. Once the punters are in, simply make them laugh for an hour, and then sweat on the critics. "
Dominic Holland
Task
Financial
Laugh
" When I phoned up and said, 'Mum, I'm doing a 52-date national tour with Eddie Izzard,' she said 'That's nice, dear. How are you?' "
Dominic Holland
She
You
Doing