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" I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It's a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there. "

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" Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma. "

" For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see. "

" The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev. "

" You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. "

" Carpe per diem - seize the check. "

" I enjoy performing for heavily armed people. It's easier than going to Georgia. "

" Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. "

" It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work. "

" With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people. "

" I knew Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were really talented. As actors, they were both studly young men, and they had great writers' chops. "

" I've never been asked to appear on 'I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!,' so I guess I mustn't be on the professional skids just yet. "

" Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly. "

" When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?' "

" I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he'd done. "

" If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing. "

" The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend. "

" Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose. "

" Comedy is acting out optimism. "

" Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? "

" Sometimes over things that I did, movies that didn't turn out very well - you go, 'Why did you do that?' But in the end, I can't regret them because I met amazing people. There was always something that was worth it. "

" When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family? "

" I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. "

" The essential truth is that sometimes you're worried that they'll find out it's a fluke, that you don't really have it. You've lost the muse or - the worst dread - you never had it at all. I went through all that madness early on. "

" Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier. "

" I think 'Dead Poets' was probably my favorite, just to get started with the idea of doing a movie that people treated as more than a movie. "

" My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. My solo dancing is sad. I use my arms, badly. "

" Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started. "

" I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people. "

" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "

" I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. "