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" I was a big Broadway fan for a while. "

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" I don't want to say never, but I hope I don't become that 'take me seriously now' guy. "

" Even from the very beginning, I didn't put any money in the stock market. "

" It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great. "

" How many times have you been watching an episode of 'South Park' and thought, 'I'd like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?' "

" If you're famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don't. "

" I bought a house for my mom, I bought a house for my dad, I bought a house for my sister. "

" A lot of people don't realize this, but probably the one person that gets made fun of in 'South Park' more than anybody is my dad. Stan's father, Randy - my dad's name is Randy - that's my drawing of my dad; that's me doing my dad's voice. That is just my dad. Even Stan's last name, Marsh, was my dad's stepfather's name. "

" If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park' episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.' "

" I have no desire to ever talk to Sean Penn. "

" It was exactly the same on the South Park movie really too. There's lots of violence in that too, but it always came down to anything sexual... They don't care about anything else. "

" I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person. "

" We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of people didn't, they didn't even know what it was. "

" In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever. "

" The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican. "

" Most people I know are not hard-core religious people. They are what I would call 'lightly religious.' So I don't buy the notion that we can't laugh about religion in America. "

" I grew up with the religion of 'Star Wars,' frankly. That's when I realized there is something bigger out there... and it's called The Force. "

" You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody. "

" What we're always looking for is weird social issues and weird connections to make. Luckily for them, there's no shortage of material. "

" I can feel myself dying inside. "

" All the religions are super funny to me. "

" When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff. "

" There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists. "

" I try not to tune in to politics until it's two or three months before the election. Till then, it's like watching preseason football. "

" Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable. "

" So much of what you see now in Hollywood is written and directed by committee, and you can see it. "

" Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever. "

" Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it. "

" I got into this little habit of architecture and building. I designed a house in Colorado and one in Hawaii. The idea is supposed to be build and sell - but then I can never bring myself to sell them. "

" You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado. "

" If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup for change. And the Mormons don't ever ask him to leave. "