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" I was working at the NSA. I don't know, I was just bored. I just knew that's not what I was supposed to be doing with my life. "

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" I have a very diverse crowd from old, young, black, white, straight, gay. It's a little bit of everybody. "

" And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike. "

" I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am. "

" I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy. "

" If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you. "

" There's obviously a group who enjoys what Tyler Perry is putting out there. And why fault them? And there's a group that loves the things that Spike does. So they should enjoy that, too. Is it my taste? Maybe not, but I'm not going to fault anybody for doing what they're doing as long as people are showing up. "

" Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it. "

" I'm always thinking of stuff; I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone. "

" I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun. "

" My shows and my material are grounded in reality. It's pretty much something that's either happened in my life or in the news, and I start there and give you my take on it. "

" I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place. "

" My wife asked me if I ever thought I would ever retire from stand-up. And I thought about it, and I was like, 'No, because it's my job; it's what I do, and I enjoy it.' It's still the most challenging thing for me to do. "

" If a topic hits me, I'll start going on it. But you can't force it. "

" D.C. is where I started. That's home for me. I always love coming back to the area. They treat me so well, and people show up. They're excited and claim me as their own. I love it. "

" The government shouldn't be involved in this because it's very simple. If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex. "

" If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. "

" I'm here today because I hated everything else. "

" I tried snowboarding, and that scared the hell out of me. "

" I worked with people like Edward Snowden. Well, not people who took stuff home. "

" I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom. "

" Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal. "

" The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.' "

" I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me. "

" Sometimes black people really want to hold onto our oppression - 'This is ours! This belongs to us.' You can't just talk about equality for somebody else. Let's pass it on. Let's pass it on to somebody else. At the end of the day, it is all about inequality. "

" What drives the creative person is that we see it all. "

" Stand-up, by far, is my favorite. "

" I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm. "

" But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking. "

" I love working with other actors and other people - you know, stand-up - it's lonely; it's just you out there and the audience. But it's fun working with other actors. I love doing that, too. "

" I have to be socially aware; I feel like that's my job. "