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" If I had to describe my sense of humor, I would say it's contemporary wit, you know what I'm saying? "

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" God gave us dreams, but he gave us kids to make all those dreams worthwhile. And when I look at all my kids, I say everything that I've ever went through in my life was worthwhile. "

" I come from where Mike Tyson came from. I come from right across the street from Jay-Z. I didn't have a pond in my backyard. I saw violence. "

" I don't believe in storks. I know they don't deliver babies; they deliver pickles. "

" Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses. "

" I love animals, but I don't want to talk to them. I'd rather be able to talk to other people on other continents and understand them. "

" When you see me on the street, act like you know me. "

" The only person who knows what's in my wallet is my wife. "

" As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life. "

" There's nothing wrong with looking at a woman's kneecaps. "

" What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man. "

" I think people would want to see Tracy Morgan host 'Saturday Night Live.' "

" Some people believe everything they see on TV. People, it's called tel-lie-vision! "

" There's nothing in the world like live entertainment. With TV, you have to wait for your results; with live entertainment, people let you know right then and there. That relationship is established in 30 seconds. The first 30 seconds, they'll let you know whether they like you or not. "

" We have freedom of speech, but you got to watch what you say. "

Freedom Of Speech

" Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes. "

" I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes. "

" People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We're losing all of our communication skills. "

" All women like to look up to their men. "

" If you're the kind of person who likes numbers and statistics, I'm the long shot - the Lotto Powerball winner. I'm the mutation in the DNA that makes evolution a reality. I am the new black. "

" I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit. "

" Whatever I did on 'Saturday Night Live' is going to stay and remain on 'Saturday Night Live.' "

" I would love to try action films. "

" I have a heart. I want people to see me with their heart and not their eyes. "

" Comedy should be easy, not laboured. "

" Whenever I perform, people get me because I'm talking about things that people can identify with and relate to. I'm not just up there doing jokey, jokey, joke. "

" I don't do drama. I'm a comedian. "

" Tracy Morgan is subdued. I'm cool. I'm chilled out. "

" I have my Lucky Charms in the morning, and I feel magical. "

" I don't see myself as angry, although other people see that. I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate. "

" To me, politics is a pile of tricks. "