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" I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing. "

Sarah Silverman

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" That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive. "

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" I never defend my material. Comedy is subjective. "

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" My growing up years, we watched 'Happy Days,' every night. I don't know what was reruns and what was new. "

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" And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school. "

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" When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach. "

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" I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with money. "

Sarah Silverman

" By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live. "

Sarah Silverman

" The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17. "

Sarah Silverman

" You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you're instructed to make people laugh and please them, you're too resentful to do it. "

Sarah Silverman

" I like my messiness on stage, though I watch comics who come at a joke from every angle and I think, 'Yeah! That's how it's done!' But for me it's the audience. If I feel connected to them, I have so much fun, and if not, it stinks. "

Sarah Silverman

" I'd love to do drama if it was interesting. "

Sarah Silverman

" Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me. "

Sarah Silverman

" You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to. "

Sarah Silverman

" I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much. "

Sarah Silverman

" I had a lot of depression as a kid. "

Sarah Silverman

" I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself. "

Sarah Silverman

" Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine. "

Sarah Silverman

" I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show. "

Sarah Silverman

" The first time I did stand-up I was 17, and I was really a stand-up once I was 19 in New York, and now I'm 41, and I still feel like I haven't found myself onstage. Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. "

Sarah Silverman

" I have very vivid dreams - almost always action-adventure. I'm often on the run. I've always had dreams. When I was little, I'd go to sleep with my head on my hands, which were in fists like I was looking through a camera. I felt like sleep was the movies - just drifting off to the movies. "

Sarah Silverman

" If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. "

Sarah Silverman

" Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. "

Sarah Silverman

" I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me. "

Sarah Silverman

" I do love the idea of ritual. "

Sarah Silverman

" Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert. "

Sarah Silverman

" I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core. "

Sarah Silverman

" I tend to be more arrogant on stage. Far more ignorant. I sometimes say what I think and sometimes say the opposite of what I think and the lines get blurred, but I can only hope that some kind of absolute power transcends. "

Sarah Silverman

" I'm doing a lot of stand-up, but not like when you're living in New York and you can do three sets a night and it's your life, and you sleep all day and you wake up and you eat with a bunch of other comics and then get ready for the night. "

Sarah Silverman

" As a kid, I was terrified. I was a bed wetter, and I had to go to sleepaway camp every summer, which was humiliating and terrifying. I had lots of insecurities and scaredness. "

Sarah Silverman

" I just think of myself as a comedian, really. "

Sarah Silverman