Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I couldn't believe that Donald Trump won. I couldn't believe that we elected an orangutan to front the country. "

Related Quotes:

" My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect - everything else goes on. "

" If a topic hits me, I'll start going on it. But you can't force it. "

" I was working at the NSA. I don't know, I was just bored. I just knew that's not what I was supposed to be doing with my life. "

" I remember, when I was a kid, my summers were pretty much running around, riding your bike, and then complaining about you were bored. "

" I knew I was outspoken when I was a kid because, whenever my parents had company coming over, they would pay me to leave. 'Go see your grandmother. Get out of here.' That was my first paying gig. "

" I don't understand why people really get upset about something that doesn't affect them at all. "

" I tried theatre. I played Miss Hannigan for a short run of Annie at a regional theatre. That was fun. I enjoyed it! I enjoy theatre and have so much respect for theatre actors. "

" There's obviously a group who enjoys what Tyler Perry is putting out there. And why fault them? And there's a group that loves the things that Spike does. So they should enjoy that, too. Is it my taste? Maybe not, but I'm not going to fault anybody for doing what they're doing as long as people are showing up. "

" It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians. "

" Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going. "

" The government shouldn't be involved in this because it's very simple. If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex. "

" I'm a huge Sia fan. I love Sia, I have just about all of her stuff. "

" The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.' "

" Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal. "

" Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it. "

" I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys. "

" And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike. "

" I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm. "

" There's so many good comedians in D.C. I started hanging out with those guys. Dave Chappelle was there. Actually, Dave was too young to be in the clubs, so when his mom couldn't make it, he would ask me to pretend I was his aunt, so he could do open mike. "

" I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun. "

" Men don't hear women. "

" I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business. "

" I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom. "

" I have a lot of breast cancer history on my mother's side of the family. "

" My shows and my material are grounded in reality. It's pretty much something that's either happened in my life or in the news, and I start there and give you my take on it. "

" Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science. "

" What drives the creative person is that we see it all. "

" I have a very diverse crowd from old, young, black, white, straight, gay. It's a little bit of everybody. "

" But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking. "

" People are getting careers from YouTube and uploading videos. And they're totally different - you can't necessarily be funny on a video, and then all of a sudden you're live in a theater. You don't have the tools yet. It's a lot more involved to go from being funny on a little iPhone screen to being live in front of people and being funny. "