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" I'm really funny now. "

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" I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business. "

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" I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up. "

" I have a sidekick, Keith Robinson, who's very funny. I've known Keith for over 20 years; he's my best friend. "

" It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh. "

" My wife asked me if I ever thought I would ever retire from stand-up. And I thought about it, and I was like, 'No, because it's my job; it's what I do, and I enjoy it.' It's still the most challenging thing for me to do. "

" In this business, you get an opportunity, and you pounce on it. "

" I think sometimes celebrities can hurt a candidate. You don't want people to judge them on your last project. "

" I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun. "

" I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I'm doing a show and I'm working on a bit and someone's there with a phone, they record it and put it online - it's not the finished product. "

" It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians. "

" I couldn't believe that Donald Trump won. I couldn't believe that we elected an orangutan to front the country. "

" Men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal. "

" I'm a huge Sia fan. I love Sia, I have just about all of her stuff. "

" I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real. "

" I'm constantly preparing. Material hits me; I'm always writing. I go back and listen to my shows and just prepare and put my set together. But the day of, I like to have some downtime. A nice lunch is important for me. "

" And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike. "

" I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place. "

" I'm here today because I hated everything else. "

" I have to be socially aware; I feel like that's my job. "

" My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect - everything else goes on. "

" I love working with other actors and other people - you know, stand-up - it's lonely; it's just you out there and the audience. But it's fun working with other actors. I love doing that, too. "

" In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression. "

" People - I hate to use the word 'fans' - are very respectful. It's not like I'm some pop idol or big movie star. I'm very approachable, and I love the people who enjoy me, because they react like they've run into a friend. Usually, it's like, 'Hey, Wanda! How ya' doing?' "

" I'm a stand-up comic. I'm always doing dates; it's just that, if I'm working on a project or I'm busy, I can't get out on the road or book any shows. Since the beginning of my career, I'm usually out for at least 10-15 dates throughout the year. If I have time, then I try to get at least 30-40 dates. "

" Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal. "

" Stand-up, by far, is my favorite. "

" My voice is distinctive: there's a rhythm to it, and also, it's funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice. "

" I have a very diverse crowd from old, young, black, white, straight, gay. It's a little bit of everybody. "

" Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science. "