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" In this business, you get an opportunity, and you pounce on it. "

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" It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians. "

" I'm here today because I hated everything else. "

" I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic. "

" I have a sidekick, Keith Robinson, who's very funny. I've known Keith for over 20 years; he's my best friend. "

" It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes. "

" It wasn't until after the reduction that in the lab work, the pathology, that they found that I had DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) in my left breast. I was very, very lucky because DCIS is basically stage-zero cancer. So I was very lucky. "

" I think sometimes celebrities can hurt a candidate. You don't want people to judge them on your last project. "

" Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science. "

" But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking. "

" And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike. "

" I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance. "

" My voice is distinctive: there's a rhythm to it, and also, it's funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice. "

" Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it. "

" My shows and my material are grounded in reality. It's pretty much something that's either happened in my life or in the news, and I start there and give you my take on it. "

" My wife asked me if I ever thought I would ever retire from stand-up. And I thought about it, and I was like, 'No, because it's my job; it's what I do, and I enjoy it.' It's still the most challenging thing for me to do. "

" If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. "

" Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal. "

" Back then, I was doing more of my impression of what a comic is supposed to do. "

" In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression. "

" I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom. "

" I'm a stand-up comic. I'm always doing dates; it's just that, if I'm working on a project or I'm busy, I can't get out on the road or book any shows. Since the beginning of my career, I'm usually out for at least 10-15 dates throughout the year. If I have time, then I try to get at least 30-40 dates. "

" I had real big boobs, and I just got tired of knocking over stuff. Every time I eat, 'Oh, Lord'. I'd carry a Tide stick everywhere I go. My back was sore, so it was time to have a reduction. "

" If a topic hits me, I'll start going on it. But you can't force it. "

" But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that. "

" I have to be socially aware; I feel like that's my job. "

" I'm constantly preparing. Material hits me; I'm always writing. I go back and listen to my shows and just prepare and put my set together. But the day of, I like to have some downtime. A nice lunch is important for me. "

" Men don't hear women. "

" That's why I talk about the breast cancer: because I want women - and everyone - to stay on top of things and get checked. I know how scary it can be. When I dealt with it, I was like, 'Oh my God.' And I have so many other friends who have gone through it or have suffered a loss. "

" I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy. "

" To me, in life, if there's, like, a rule, and I think it's ridiculous, then of course I'll circumvent that but also point out how ridiculous the rule is. Other than that, if I go to a concert, and my seat is Row G, Seat 12, I'm sitting in Row G, Seat 12. I don't care if I'm with five other friends, I'm supposed to be in Seat 12, that's my seat. "