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" Stupid is a great force in human affairs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Force
Affairs
Great
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" I believe in God. God created the world. "
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" My ignorance is widespread. "
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" Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it. "
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" Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nothing
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" Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum. "
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Politics
Necessary Evil
Evil
" I'm a political conservative. "
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" In midlife, we're as dumb as we get. "
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Get
Dumb
" Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present. "
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You
Flattery
Gossip
" I like to argue with the radio. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Radio
Argue
" Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Life
Soccer
" Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Mature
You
" There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Old
People
More
" The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow, pesky chirp, and data spillage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Cheap
Library
Knowledge
" The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Together
Enough
People
" Neither liberal nor conservative politicians can resist the temptation to stand as mighty sequoias of rectitude amid the lowly underbrush of fundraising. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Liberal
Stand
Temptation
" Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals living in the gritty, ugly, dirty neighborhoods sensible people are trying to flee. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Live
People
Ugly
" I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius. "
P. J. O'Rourke
News
Know
Business
" Freedom is for fun. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Freedom
" We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Turns
Out
Come
" Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Law
Rule Of Law
Ignorance
" A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Way
Only
Nothing
" Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Three
You
Thank You
" Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades of frayed patchwork, jury-rigging, and make-do clutter caused by Depression and war. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
Depression
Future
" Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their energy into it a way people left of center do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Energy
Politics
People
" Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Love Is
Love
Bad
" When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Want
Shouting
" Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Mean
Serious
Because
" The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Irresponsible
Run
" All previous populist movements were demanding things from governments, whereas the Tea Party is saying, 'Give us less, go away.' That's heartening to see. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Go
Away
Party
" Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Parenting
Who
Raise