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" The idea of a world where all people are alike - in wealth or in anything else - is a fantasy for the stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fantasy
People
World
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" The minute somebody joins a committee... they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
People
Brain
" Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of votes clearly should be curtailed - 'assault votes,' for example, in which the only purpose of the vote is to harm others. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Others
Voting
Example
" People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Reason
People
Ants
" Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Skill
Effort
Part
" Never wear anything that panics the cat. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Never
Cat
Wear
" Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fatherhood
Child
Mother
" Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such an excellent banjo player that you almost don't wish you had a pair of wire cutters. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Singing
You
Wish
" Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jack
Best
Federal
" The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Know
Look
" The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Get
You
Two
" The budget doesn't have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn't have much control over the budget. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Over
Again
Government
" Kids are disorganized. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Disorganized
Kids
" One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jokes
Making
Nice
" Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Domino
Pizza
Wealth
" You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective. "
P. J. O'Rourke
City
You
Poverty
" Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Internet
" You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Baby
You
Defeat
" Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Africa
Only
Begins
" The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can't do, shouldn't do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Forever
Body
Long
" Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Location
America
Like
" All business is capitalistic. You require capital for any sort of business endeavour. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Capital
Sort
" Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Never
Your
Unfaithful
" People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Always
People
Will
" Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Most
Something
Exercise
" When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Place
Person
Parking
" Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
Had
Woodstock
" When you're a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, 'Gee, I wouldn't want to be doing that.' They're on your side. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Saying
Doing
Side
" Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Government
Good
" Fall of the Berlin wall? Being there was fun. Nations that flaked off of the Soviet Union in southeastern Europe, Central Asia, and the Caucasus? Being there was not so fun. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Union
Being There
Fall
" Only a few good leaders have paused to reflect seriously on being leaders. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Reflect
Leaders
Seriously