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" The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? "

P. J. O'Rourke

Hell

People

Texas

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" We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting. "

" Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists, and the rest of the altruistic scum of the earth. Why do these people want to feel good? They want to feel good in order to convince themselves that they are good. "

" I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion. "

" War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not. "

" More modern poetry is written than read. "

" There are selves too big for one person to contain. You cannot call them selfish. There is nothing -ish about such selves. They are the self, as it were, itself. "

" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "

" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Important

Cleanliness

" By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. "

" There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. "

" I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics. "

" My generation of Americans was the first to really care about racism and sexism, not to mention the I Ching, plus, of course, the Earth. "

" Our regulatory bodies strive to create honest dealings, fair trades, and a situation in which no one has an advantage over anyone else. But human beings aren't honest. And all trades are made because one person thinks he's getting the better of the other, and the other person thinks the same. "

" Adam Smith pointed out that there were three things that make us more prosperous, in a general sort of way: freedom to pursue our own self-interest; specialization, which he called division of labor; and freedom of trade. "

" There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. "

" We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scutter. "

" Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country. "

" Adam Smith is misread as being amoral precisely because people don't read his first book, because they don't read 'The Theory of Moral Sentiments.' "

" Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. "

" In thirteen years, every aspect of the universe can change - ask a thirteen-year-old. "

" Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. "

" I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Home

Think

" The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down. "

" The poor are an especially important resource for innovation when they have the bravery and pluck to get out of the poor places in which they're living. "

" I'm really tired of virtue. "

" Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades of frayed patchwork, jury-rigging, and make-do clutter caused by Depression and war. "

" No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Journalism

Memory

" Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. "

" I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger. "

" Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let's hope so. "