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" If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that curiosity might kill cats, but it doesn't kill people. "

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" I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are. "

" I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes. "

" Comedy should be easy, not laboured. "

" There's nothing in the world like live entertainment. With TV, you have to wait for your results; with live entertainment, people let you know right then and there. That relationship is established in 30 seconds. The first 30 seconds, they'll let you know whether they like you or not. "

" I was never a big comic book fan. I was always more into the baseball cards. "

" People are just way too sensitive. You couldn't have a show like 'Archie Bunker' on TV. People would go crazy; they would lose their minds. "

" Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes. "

" Of all the sicknesses, there is probably none more abusive than homophobia. "

" They say that every Jewish person is supposed to love one black person in his life. I'm glad Lorne Michaels chose me. "

" People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We're losing all of our communication skills. "

" I remember when I was on 'Saturday Night Live' my first year, and I wasn't getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. "

" If I get some Bruce Lee nun-chucks that he actually used in a movie, those are going in the case. Those will never be used. Those will never be touched. "

" In New York, we get down. In L.A., everybody's pretty much standing around like they're at a keg stand. You got to get the party started, so I just take my shirt off. "

" What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment. I want to feel it all because I've realized nothing lasts. "

" I love '30 Rock' because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week. "

" I'm not getting any younger. You're not getting any younger, so yeah. You age. "

" Everybody's out to get something from somebody. 'Gold diggers' doesn't just mean money, it can mean time, it can mean feelings. It can mean anything when you're taking and not giving. When people don't know how to reciprocate. "

" So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah. "

" A stand-up's job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we're afraid of. That's why we had shows like 'All in the Family' and 'The Jeffersons.' We made fun of ourselves then. "

" If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned. "

" Sometimes I think we're exposed to things we shouldn't be exposed to too early. I think that sets the tone to a person's whole life. Trauma. "

" I know how people are. We fixate on controversy and all that. "

" To me, politics is a pile of tricks. "

" The truth is, I've never thought of myself as the Michael Jordan of comedy. And that's a good thing. You know why? Because I'm not. Wasn't that Richard Pryor? Yes, it was. I know what I am: I'm funny! "

" All you single fathers got to man up. "

" I'm human, I feel, I understand. That's the highest level of love, is understanding - when you can understand someone, when you can love them with their flaws and their faults. So I understand, I consider. I may speak the truth, but I'll consider your feelings, too. "

" Most creative thing I've ever done? Got somebody pregnant. "

" I would love to try action films. "

" I'm a black man in America, so I'm going to be misunderstood. "

" The paparazzi do what they do, man. They have a job, too. "