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" Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Never
Your
Unfaithful
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" Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Use
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" We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" Not much was really invented during the Renaissance, if you don't count modern civilization. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Renaissance
You
Modern
" You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
People
Money
" The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Law
Religion
Congress
" Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Grab
Empowerment
Anybody
" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Strange
Digital
" Neither liberal nor conservative politicians can resist the temptation to stand as mighty sequoias of rectitude amid the lowly underbrush of fundraising. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Liberal
Stand
Temptation
" China is trying to become America without democracy while America is trying to become France without cheese calories. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democracy
America
Cheese
" Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Government
Good
" Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Power
Car
Giving
" Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Society
Alcohol
Ignorance
" The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Time
You
Brilliant
" Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Become
Culture
Popular Culture
" There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Race
Religion
Two
" Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Less
Nothing
" America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being 'hegemonistic', of engaging in 'unilateralism', of behaving as if we're the only nation on earth that counts. We are. "
P. J. O'Rourke
America
Nation
Only
" If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Know
Words
Politics
" The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there's a reason for that - the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent - No Child Left Behind. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
America
Child
" If you want to join the Republican party, they have to let you in. There's nothing they can do about it. I mean, if Republicans will take Al D'Amato, they'll take anybody. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Nothing
Party
" 'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Critics
President
" The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Average
Dressed
Better
" Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fact
Revolution
Industrial
" The poor are an especially important resource for innovation when they have the bravery and pluck to get out of the poor places in which they're living. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Innovation
Bravery
Important
" The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jail
Accounting
Pay
" Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Free
Globalization
" There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Percent
Vote
Number
" We have the British motor industry as a role model for what happens when you try to save an industrial dinosaur. Britain was the first country to industrialise and the first to de-industrialise. We should learn from this. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Role Model
Learn
" Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Status
Being
Alike
" A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Will
You
Mint