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" Not much was really invented during the Renaissance, if you don't count modern civilization. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Renaissance
You
Modern
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" My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Stupid
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" Liberals have invented whole college majors - psychology, sociology and women's studies - to prove that nothing is anybody's fault. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Women
Nothing
Prove
" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Important
More
Cleanliness
" If you want to join the Republican party, they have to let you in. There's nothing they can do about it. I mean, if Republicans will take Al D'Amato, they'll take anybody. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Nothing
Party
" A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dollar
Gold
Silver
" In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Taxes
Government
Like
" I'm a political conservative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Conservative
Political
" A friend of mine at the American Enterprise Institute says there are two parties: the silly party and the stupid party. I'm too old for the silly party, so I had to join the stupid party. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
Party
Friend
" The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to America's young people, 'We be thugs.' The GOP may capture the youth vote at last. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
America
Great
" I like to argue with the radio. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Radio
Argue
" Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Soldiers
Some
Training
" I'm fascinated by political enthusiasm. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Fascinated
Enthusiasm
" Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Joy
Politics
Hope
" All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bad
Change
Done
" If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors out of millions. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Corporations
Big
Government
" I am unboreable in the great outdoors. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Am
Am
Great
" The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Standards
Top
" One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jokes
Making
Nice
" You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
People
Money
" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Stay
Living
" The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Point
Bad
Real
" I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sometimes
Enjoy
Too Much
" Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dinner
Thanksgiving
Politics
" The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Together
Enough
People
" In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Out
History
" The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow, pesky chirp, and data spillage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Cheap
Library
Knowledge
" Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Christmas
Save
Funny
" Love can never be fully explained. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Love
Explained
Fully
" The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Get
You
Two
" I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Me
Life
Friends