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" Philosophy was once considered science. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Science
Considered
Philosophy
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" Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Today
Marriage
Family
" There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?' "
P. J. O'Rourke
New York
You
City
" Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Minds
Facts
Up
" Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Run
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" I blame feminism and Facebook for the death of the American automobile. I'm a Republican, so I blame everything on feminism - or commies. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Blame
American
Republican
" Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Grab
Empowerment
Anybody
" Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Christmas
Save
Funny
" Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Old People
People
Crazy
" Term limits aren't enough. We need jail. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Need
Term Limits
Enough
" America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Hard
" I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Experience
Think
Stupid
" Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in much for revolution or terrorism, either. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ugly
People
Revolution
" Disney's Tomorrowland is deeply, thoroughly, almost furiously unimaginative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Disney
Thoroughly
Almost
" The good thing about SUVs is they have storage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thing
About
Good
" A person has got to balance work and life and family in order to be a balanced person. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Person
Work
Balance
" A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dollar
Gold
Silver
" 'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Critics
President
" I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little. I'm not rich, but I can afford a few grand if I have to have my appendix taken out. I can pitch in a little bit. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Can
Nothing
Go
" Guns are the ultimate bulwark against government misbehavior. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Against
Guns
Government
" I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Small
House
Everything
" The anti-individualist enemies that Ayn Rand battled are still the enemy, but they've shifted their line of attack. Political collectivists are no longer much interested in taking things away from the wealthy and creative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Line
Attack
Creative
" Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their energy into it a way people left of center do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Energy
Politics
People
" Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Policy
Obama
Bush
" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Friends
Mercy
Children
" People say free trade causes dislocation. In actual fact, it's the lowering of trade barriers that causes the dislocation. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Trade
People Say
" Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Whatever
Policy
" Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Status
Being
Alike
" Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. "
P. J. O'Rourke
God
Done
Way