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" Disney's Tomorrowland is deeply, thoroughly, almost furiously unimaginative. "

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" Philosophy was once considered science. "

" Never fight an inanimate object. "

" Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman. "

" Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life. "

" Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt. "

" Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid. "

" If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it was forced on our country by a sinister international organization. "

" Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By and large, they're trying to do it as well as they can. Or at least as often as people in the private sector try to do as well as they can. "

" Seriousness is stupidity sent to college. "

" I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it. "

" America is a meritocracy. "

" Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. "

" Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. "

" There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees. "

" Freedom is for fun. "

" Fall of the Berlin wall? Being there was fun. Nations that flaked off of the Soviet Union in southeastern Europe, Central Asia, and the Caucasus? Being there was not so fun. "

" The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it. "

" In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. "

" In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands. "

" When you're a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, 'Gee, I wouldn't want to be doing that.' They're on your side. "

" There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. "

" Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. "

" Are you a Democrat because you're a union member? Then why, after eight years of Bill Clinton, does some Chinese guy in Guangdong province have your job? "

" If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. "

" Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades of frayed patchwork, jury-rigging, and make-do clutter caused by Depression and war. "

" My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. "

" The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows. "

" Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. "

" The poor are an especially important resource for innovation when they have the bravery and pluck to get out of the poor places in which they're living. "

" Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up. "