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" Seriously, I love my gays. They accept me, and I accept them. Imperfections and all, we accept each other. "

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" People are getting picked up off the street and getting a show, and it's because we're not using the people that are trying to be entertainers - use more of them. "

" Now AOL is the grandma of online Web services. I mean, we don't need it anymore. "

" I love being a regular on 'Chelsea Lately!' "

" When you're a plus-sized girl, belts are your best friends. I also love bright colors and skirts, to show my pretty knees. "

" I do think the audiences have a right to judge what they feel is offensive and not. "

" I think that, for so long, there was only one type of actor, and now you see these different colors, different people, different shapes and different sizes. It just makes it more interesting. "

" Even when I was an engineer, I was a comic on my job. At birthday and holiday parties, I was the one scheduling and emceeing. If you work on your gift, and you're good, it will shine through. "

" Whatever you're destined to do, you will be. "

" I started by doing a little funny story, and then I started going to open mics. I realized I had a lot of work to do - you have to get over the stage fright and get your stage presence up. It took me some time, but I finally feel that I'm at a point where I feel comfortable on stage and giving my point of view. "

" I'm hearing from fans about how they got out of an abusive relationship. That's why I tell people you've got to watch 'The Real.' We are about comedy and inspiration, but personal moments come up, and people are moved by it. "

" I never wanted a traditional lifestyle. I'm not that kind of person. "

" I am the funny, crazy person. "

" Everybody wants to say females aren't as funny as men. That's not true. You just don't see as many because it takes a lot to do this occupation. "

" If you think about how many headlining female comics are out there, you could say 15, maybe 20? "

" If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter. "

" As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road. "

" It's been a long haul. It may seem to some people that have never heard of me, 'Oh she just popped up on the scene,' but I've been working on this for some time. "

" I do like to laugh at and talk about relationships. "

" Now that I live in Los Angeles, if I meet somebody from Detroit, it's like there's this brother- or sisterhood, where we're real folks. "

" Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street! "

" There is nothing like a live performance. You can look at things on television, and you can look at things on YouTube, but when you get in a room full of people and you say one joke, and everyone's laughing at the same thing, it's a really great experience. "

" Being a female comic and getting a Comedy Central special is an honor because not a lot of women get that. "

" With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about. "

" We provide comedy for everybody, no matter what your race or gender. We just want people to come out and have a really good time. "

" I like having peace and quiet in my life, and I am perfectly happy in my relationships. "

" I couldn't be where I am today if I had children. My focus would be on my children and home. And you can do it later in life. "

" I am a seasoned performer. "

" I did all this standup comedy in college, and from that point on, I tried to develop myself and get my name back out there. "

" I will never say never, but I can tell you right now - I am perfectly happy with being who I am. I just - I really - I'm an entertainer, and the thing that I'd decided to work on was my career, and I decided the energy that I was putting in certain relationships - I was really kind of wasting my time, and I knew it. "

" The president of CBS handpicked me for the 'Star Search' revival, which Arsenio Hall hosted. He picked 12 comics, and I was the only female. I always look to that as inspiration. "