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" When you're a plus-sized girl, belts are your best friends. I also love bright colors and skirts, to show my pretty knees. "

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" I'm hearing from fans about how they got out of an abusive relationship. That's why I tell people you've got to watch 'The Real.' We are about comedy and inspiration, but personal moments come up, and people are moved by it. "

" What helped was that my mother, even though we didn't have a lot of money... allowed me to take part in the Girl Scouts. "

" You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie! "

" I was a latchkey kid, so when I saw the 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,' that showed me that there was a different type of lifestyle out there. I was curious about it and amazed about it. "

" I made the conscious decision to not have kids, and I didn't want to be married. "

" Now that I live in Los Angeles, if I meet somebody from Detroit, it's like there's this brother- or sisterhood, where we're real folks. "

" I will never say never, but I can tell you right now - I am perfectly happy with being who I am. I just - I really - I'm an entertainer, and the thing that I'd decided to work on was my career, and I decided the energy that I was putting in certain relationships - I was really kind of wasting my time, and I knew it. "

" If you think about how many headlining female comics are out there, you could say 15, maybe 20? "

" It's been a long haul. It may seem to some people that have never heard of me, 'Oh she just popped up on the scene,' but I've been working on this for some time. "

" Everything that I've done on television has helped me to get the exposure that I need. "

" The late, great Joan Rivers actually gave me so much advice, and she was so nice to me before she passed. "

" Everybody wants to say females aren't as funny as men. That's not true. You just don't see as many because it takes a lot to do this occupation. "

" In 'Mother's Day,' which is directed by legendary director Garry Marshall, I play a mother figure to the character played by Jason Sudeikis from 'Saturday Night Live.' He's a widower, and I'm a mother who's helping him to get over the loss of his wife. "

" I do talk about celebrity relationships like Kim Kardashian's. I like to find the humor in love. "

" I do think the audiences have a right to judge what they feel is offensive and not. "

" I worked harder at my craft, and it took some time, but here I am today doing what I want to do, which is entertain people. "

" The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids. "

" That's a nice thing about being a topical standup: you can add in things to keep it fresh. "

" That's the one thing I have to say to females. If you don't have a certain look, or if you look a certain way, they won't accept you. "

" I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah. "

" I have a fear of being broke. That's what I have a fear of. I'm not kidding. "

" One day, we had a layoff at my job. And I went to my boss, and I said, 'Please save someone else's job. This is a win-win situation for the company and me - and just lay me off.' I did that in around 2003, and I never looked back. I became a full-time comic. "

" The thing is, it's that Detroiters are hard workers. We've always been hard workers, even when times are down. I've been able to take that with me, that work ethic, to help me build my career. "

" Now AOL is the grandma of online Web services. I mean, we don't need it anymore. "

" Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street! "

" We provide comedy for everybody, no matter what your race or gender. We just want people to come out and have a really good time. "

" At my job, my manager had a massive heart attack; we had layoffs. It made me realize that nothing is certain, nothing is for sure, and if I'm going to make a move, I gotta make a move now. "

" People are getting picked up off the street and getting a show, and it's because we're not using the people that are trying to be entertainers - use more of them. "

" Being in the Girl Scouts took me out of the projects environment and showed me different things. "

" Being a female comic and getting a Comedy Central special is an honor because not a lot of women get that. "