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" I am the funny, crazy person. "

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" At my job, my manager had a massive heart attack; we had layoffs. It made me realize that nothing is certain, nothing is for sure, and if I'm going to make a move, I gotta make a move now. "

" When we heard that little dial-up sound, that eeeeee, and then you connected, and you then go and you check your mail and you get that 'you got mail,' you were excited. I mean, that was the thing. "

" People say they get a warmness from me. "

" Everything that I've done on television has helped me to get the exposure that I need. "

" I will never say never, but I can tell you right now - I am perfectly happy with being who I am. I just - I really - I'm an entertainer, and the thing that I'd decided to work on was my career, and I decided the energy that I was putting in certain relationships - I was really kind of wasting my time, and I knew it. "

" As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road. "

" Miss Britney Spears took a dude that was already with a girl that had babies. And sometimes when you do that kind of stuff and take a dude, that's called karma. "

" If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter. "

" I have a fear of being broke. That's what I have a fear of. I'm not kidding. "

" Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street! "

" I don't want to get married - I've been there and done that. So I know what I'm talking about when I say that. And for everybody has a different path - find out your path! And if you want to do it, don't let people make you feel inadequate because you wanted to do something that's different. "

" It's been a long haul. It may seem to some people that have never heard of me, 'Oh she just popped up on the scene,' but I've been working on this for some time. "

" We have to remember that people are free to love who they want to love. That also means that black women are free to love who they want to love. "

" I've been studying myself because I always want to improve. "

" My material reaches everyone. "

" I made the conscious decision to not have kids, and I didn't want to be married. "

" I did all this standup comedy in college, and from that point on, I tried to develop myself and get my name back out there. "

" Everybody wants to say females aren't as funny as men. That's not true. You just don't see as many because it takes a lot to do this occupation. "

" One day, we had a layoff at my job. And I went to my boss, and I said, 'Please save someone else's job. This is a win-win situation for the company and me - and just lay me off.' I did that in around 2003, and I never looked back. I became a full-time comic. "

" Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we ate government cheese. I survived. "

" I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah. "

" What we're trying to do is take these words and soften them. I'm an African-American comic. I use the b-word in my act. "

African-American

" Even when I was an engineer, I was a comic on my job. At birthday and holiday parties, I was the one scheduling and emceeing. If you work on your gift, and you're good, it will shine through. "

" I've seen Don Rickles up at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Don Rickles was doing jokes in a wheelchair, and he was headlining a show. Do you think they would let a woman do that? "

" In 'Mother's Day,' which is directed by legendary director Garry Marshall, I play a mother figure to the character played by Jason Sudeikis from 'Saturday Night Live.' He's a widower, and I'm a mother who's helping him to get over the loss of his wife. "

" When you're a plus-sized girl, belts are your best friends. I also love bright colors and skirts, to show my pretty knees. "

" The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids. "

" I like having peace and quiet in my life, and I am perfectly happy in my relationships. "

" Black women know that we've got to take care of it - so we take care of it. It's just embedded in us. "

" I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation. "