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" Whatever you're destined to do, you will be. "
" People say they get a warmness from me. "
" Being a female comic and getting a Comedy Central special is an honor because not a lot of women get that. "
" Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we ate government cheese. I survived. "
" I always tell people if you want to do something, go to a great comedy show. And that's what I try to do: give people a really good comedy show. "
" They're smart in Orange County. Smart and rich - just how I like 'em. "
" I started by doing a little funny story, and then I started going to open mics. I realized I had a lot of work to do - you have to get over the stage fright and get your stage presence up. It took me some time, but I finally feel that I'm at a point where I feel comfortable on stage and giving my point of view. "
" Seriously, I love my gays. They accept me, and I accept them. Imperfections and all, we accept each other. "
" I'm hearing from fans about how they got out of an abusive relationship. That's why I tell people you've got to watch 'The Real.' We are about comedy and inspiration, but personal moments come up, and people are moved by it. "
" Life is funny, and that's why I celebrate it in my shows. "
" I was a latchkey kid, so when I saw the 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,' that showed me that there was a different type of lifestyle out there. I was curious about it and amazed about it. "
" I made the conscious decision to not have kids, and I didn't want to be married. "
" I do talk about celebrity relationships like Kim Kardashian's. I like to find the humor in love. "
" I keep doing stand-up because the world needs laughter - there's always something happening in the country and in the world. That's why I wanted to become an entertainer: to help people forget about their problems for a little while. "
" That's a nice thing about being a topical standup: you can add in things to keep it fresh. "
" I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic. "
" I love being a regular on 'Chelsea Lately!' "
" We provide comedy for everybody, no matter what your race or gender. We just want people to come out and have a really good time. "
" I never wanted a traditional lifestyle. I'm not that kind of person. "
" Miss Britney Spears took a dude that was already with a girl that had babies. And sometimes when you do that kind of stuff and take a dude, that's called karma. "
" Anyone driving a 1992 Cutlass, take it back, because I built it. "
" My material reaches everyone. "
" If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter. "
" What we're trying to do is take these words and soften them. I'm an African-American comic. I use the b-word in my act. "
" I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation. "
" It's always good to laugh. "
" I think that, for so long, there was only one type of actor, and now you see these different colors, different people, different shapes and different sizes. It just makes it more interesting. "
" I don't want to get married - I've been there and done that. So I know what I'm talking about when I say that. And for everybody has a different path - find out your path! And if you want to do it, don't let people make you feel inadequate because you wanted to do something that's different. "
" The president of CBS handpicked me for the 'Star Search' revival, which Arsenio Hall hosted. He picked 12 comics, and I was the only female. I always look to that as inspiration. "
" I appreciate the audience for checking us as comics. "
" I've seen Don Rickles up at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Don Rickles was doing jokes in a wheelchair, and he was headlining a show. Do you think they would let a woman do that? "