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" We provide comedy for everybody, no matter what your race or gender. We just want people to come out and have a really good time. "

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" Being a former engineer, you learn to always go back, study yourself, see what you could've done differently, see what you could've said. "

" I started by doing a little funny story, and then I started going to open mics. I realized I had a lot of work to do - you have to get over the stage fright and get your stage presence up. It took me some time, but I finally feel that I'm at a point where I feel comfortable on stage and giving my point of view. "

" In 'Mother's Day,' which is directed by legendary director Garry Marshall, I play a mother figure to the character played by Jason Sudeikis from 'Saturday Night Live.' He's a widower, and I'm a mother who's helping him to get over the loss of his wife. "

" Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street! "

" I'm hearing from fans about how they got out of an abusive relationship. That's why I tell people you've got to watch 'The Real.' We are about comedy and inspiration, but personal moments come up, and people are moved by it. "

" Really, it hasn't changed for female comics; it's still hard for females to really enter the game. "

" The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids. "

" I appreciate the audience for checking us as comics. "

" I couldn't be where I am today if I had children. My focus would be on my children and home. And you can do it later in life. "

" When we heard that little dial-up sound, that eeeeee, and then you connected, and you then go and you check your mail and you get that 'you got mail,' you were excited. I mean, that was the thing. "

" I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic. "

" If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter. "

" I think that, for so long, there was only one type of actor, and now you see these different colors, different people, different shapes and different sizes. It just makes it more interesting. "

" I tend to be everybody's best friend, and it kind of goes over into my comedy. "

" It's always good to laugh. "

" I do talk about celebrity relationships like Kim Kardashian's. I like to find the humor in love. "

" With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about. "

" Now AOL is the grandma of online Web services. I mean, we don't need it anymore. "

" Everything that I've done on television has helped me to get the exposure that I need. "

" As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road. "

" The thing is, it's that Detroiters are hard workers. We've always been hard workers, even when times are down. I've been able to take that with me, that work ethic, to help me build my career. "

" I have relationships. I date. But it takes a lot to say I'm going to be married and have children. "

" You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie! "

" What helped was that my mother, even though we didn't have a lot of money... allowed me to take part in the Girl Scouts. "

" I am a seasoned performer. "

" I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation. "

" They're smart in Orange County. Smart and rich - just how I like 'em. "

" There is nothing like a live performance. You can look at things on television, and you can look at things on YouTube, but when you get in a room full of people and you say one joke, and everyone's laughing at the same thing, it's a really great experience. "

" I don't have a lot of time for television because I am making it, so it's really hard for me to sit down. But when I do get a chance, I try to catch up on 'Scandal,' 'Empire' and 'black-ish.' "

" I always tell people if you want to do something, go to a great comedy show. And that's what I try to do: give people a really good comedy show. "