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" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "

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" When it comes down to it, glam rock was all very amusing. At the time, it was funny, then a few years later it became sort of serious-looking and a bit foreboding. "

" Somebody said something funny to me the other day. They said, 'Wolper, until two weeks ago, your tombstone was going to say, 'David Wolper, the man who produced 'Roots.' I think the tombstone now has a new inscription. It's going to be 'David Wolper, the man who produced the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics.' "

David L. Wolper

" You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate. "

" My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. "

" Mariah is a beautiful and talented person, and I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. Every day, my respect for Mariah continues to grow higher. She's a caring, warm and funny person. People have no idea how funny she is! I feel like I've always known she was my forever love. "

" Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. "

Robert A. Heinlein

" I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny. "

" The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable. "

" The funny thing is, I've never really hurt myself in an action movie. I've done 'Wanted,' 'X-Men,' 'Welcome To The Punch,' even 'Trance' to a certain extent has little bits of action and stuff, but I've never really hurt myself at all - not even like a sprained ankle. "

" The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. "

" What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you. "

" Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. "

" A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. "

George Bernard Shaw

" Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching. "

" Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad? "

" If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. "

" Excessive speed and quantity are, like chattiness and digression, besetting sins of cyber-assisted authorship. "

" Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day. "

" When I was fifteen, I dreamed of living in the big city, as many a young person does if he is artistic and sensitive. By 'artistic and sensitive' I mean short, skinny, unkissed, bad at sports, and carrying a C average in high school. "

" Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information. "

" Fashions have done more harm than revolutions. "

" The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man. "

" Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them. "

" When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm not really into serious programmes or documentaries. "

" I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

" The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We've all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we've all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that's a gift - to you and your audience. "

" Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. "

Abraham Lincoln

" Humor is the oxygen of children's literature. There's a lot of competition for children's time, but even kids who hate to read want to read a funny book. "

" The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. "