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" The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. "

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" The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. "

" Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. "

" I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one. "

" To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. "

" The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. "

" Necessity is the mother of taking chances. "

" It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. "

" You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. "

" The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. "

" It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. "

" The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. "

" The lack of money is the root of all evil. "

" Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. "

College Education

" If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. "

" Don't let schooling interfere with your education. "

" There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. "

" Better a broken promise than none at all. "

" Prosperity is the best protector of principle. "

" Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. "

" Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks. "

" What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. "

" Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. "

" Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.' "

" A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. "

" We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world. "

" I can live for two months on a good compliment. "

" When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. "

" God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. "

" The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word. "

" Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. "