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" The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. "

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" The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.' "

" It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. "

" Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "

" Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. "

" By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. "

" Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. "

" We are all alike, on the inside. "

" Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. "

" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "

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" Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. "

" The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. "

" It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. "

" Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. "

" Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation. "

" Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. "

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" A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. "

" It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. "

" In 'Huckleberry Finn,' I have drawn Tom Blankenship exactly as he was. He was ignorant, unwashed, insufficiently fed; but he had as good a heart as ever any boy had. "

" Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. "

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" There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. "

" In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. "