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" Better a broken promise than none at all. "
" Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. "
" It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races. "
" But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? "
" In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. "
" I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. "
" I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. "
" The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. "
" Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. "
" Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. "
" Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. "
" If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. "
" Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. "
" Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. "
" Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. "
" A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. "
" When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. "
" Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.' "
" Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. "
" The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. "
" It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. "
" I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. "
" All generalizations are false, including this one. "
" It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. "
" The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. "
" The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. "
" All emotion is involuntary when genuine. "
" The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. "
" Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. "
" Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. "
" Necessity is the mother of taking chances. "