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" I tend to be everybody's best friend, and it kind of goes over into my comedy. "

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" Whatever you're destined to do, you will be. "

" If you think about how many headlining female comics are out there, you could say 15, maybe 20? "

" I will never say never, but I can tell you right now - I am perfectly happy with being who I am. I just - I really - I'm an entertainer, and the thing that I'd decided to work on was my career, and I decided the energy that I was putting in certain relationships - I was really kind of wasting my time, and I knew it. "

" The late, great Joan Rivers actually gave me so much advice, and she was so nice to me before she passed. "

" I worked harder at my craft, and it took some time, but here I am today doing what I want to do, which is entertain people. "

" Seriously, I love my gays. They accept me, and I accept them. Imperfections and all, we accept each other. "

" I've been studying myself because I always want to improve. "

" It is harder to dress a bigger woman no matter what anybody wants to say. "

" I'm hearing from fans about how they got out of an abusive relationship. That's why I tell people you've got to watch 'The Real.' We are about comedy and inspiration, but personal moments come up, and people are moved by it. "

" I don't have a lot of time for television because I am making it, so it's really hard for me to sit down. But when I do get a chance, I try to catch up on 'Scandal,' 'Empire' and 'black-ish.' "

" As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road. "

" When you're a plus-sized girl, belts are your best friends. I also love bright colors and skirts, to show my pretty knees. "

" I don't want to get married - I've been there and done that. So I know what I'm talking about when I say that. And for everybody has a different path - find out your path! And if you want to do it, don't let people make you feel inadequate because you wanted to do something that's different. "

" That's the one thing I have to say to females. If you don't have a certain look, or if you look a certain way, they won't accept you. "

" People say they get a warmness from me. "

" Anyone driving a 1992 Cutlass, take it back, because I built it. "

" One day, we had a layoff at my job. And I went to my boss, and I said, 'Please save someone else's job. This is a win-win situation for the company and me - and just lay me off.' I did that in around 2003, and I never looked back. I became a full-time comic. "

" I do think the audiences have a right to judge what they feel is offensive and not. "

" Really, it hasn't changed for female comics; it's still hard for females to really enter the game. "

" I think that, for so long, there was only one type of actor, and now you see these different colors, different people, different shapes and different sizes. It just makes it more interesting. "

" My material reaches everyone. "

" Life is funny, and that's why I celebrate it in my shows. "

" I'm what you call a satisfied single. I don't want to give any trip reports when I come home. "

" I'll see something, and I'll go, 'Oh, wow, that's interesting,' because really, comedy comes from the truth. "

" The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids. "

" I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic. "

" With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about. "

" Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street! "

" I made the conscious decision to not have kids, and I didn't want to be married. "

" You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie! "