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" The disconnect between America and its military is shocking. "
John Oliver
Military
America
Shocking
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" People really have come for a dialogue when they go to a stand-up show in the U.K. They say, 'I understand that you have now finished your little comedy monologue; now I have something to say regarding what I've just heard. "
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" Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go. "
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" We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound. "
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" There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can't hurt you anymore when you've been completely dismantled. "
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" I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into. "
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" I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life. "
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" Politicians don't really bring up religion in England. "
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" We in Britain stopped evolving gastronomically with the advent of the pie. Everything beyond that seemed like a brave, frightening new world. We knew the French were up to something across the Channel, but we didn't want anything to do with it. "
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" Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you. "
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" Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life. "
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Life
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My Life
" When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing. "
John Oliver
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" Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can. "
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" I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior. "
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" I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is. "
John Oliver
Negativity
Positive
You
" I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression. "
John Oliver
Kind
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You
" I wanted to be a soccer player. I knew that couldn't happen. "
John Oliver
Knew
Happen
Wanted
" If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian. "
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" Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually. "
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" I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse. "
John Oliver
British
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" Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest. "
John Oliver
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" There are some people who watch NASCAR for the highly skilled driving - but most people watch it for the crashes. "
John Oliver
People
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" I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes. "
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Jokes
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Ask
" People are friendlier in New York than London. "
John Oliver
New York
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" It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "
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" I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in! "
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" There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain. "
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" Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury. "
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Campaign
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" You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "
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" I would never heckle someone. That's why I think I'm so interested in someone that would. "
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Never
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" When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain. "
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Want
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