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All Quotes by author - Zach Galifianakis
" Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person. "
New
Used
Person
" A fantasy of mine is to do a podcast that's Marcel Marceau and I, and you only hear me laughing at him and trying to figure out what he's doing. "
Doing
Trying
Him
" A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong. "
Audience
Sometimes
Think
" American society loves to prop people up and then take them down. "
People
American
Society
" As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it. "
Lose
Place
Lost
" As you get older, you see the world at a different angle, maybe more cynically, but I just bury my anger. "
More
Different
Anger
" Comedians paint ourselves into corners all the time, and tastes in comedy change. The guy in 'The Hangover' was a really fun character to do, and it was easy to do. But you have to find other things because audiences will let you do that for a little bit, and then they're like, 'What else do you have for us, monkey?' "
Easy
Fun
You
" Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself. "
Long
Yourself
Me
" Have you seen that show on Lifetime about that woman...? "
Woman
About
Lifetime
" Hollywood's built on insecurity. People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way. "
Trying
People
Guilty
" I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling. "
Ryan
Next
Am
" I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it. "
Am
Publicity
I Am
" I can get away with anything. But when I try to be sincere, people just roll their eyes. "
I Can
People
Eyes
" I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing. "
You
Try
Find
" I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do. "
Feel
You
Monkey
" I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony. "
People
Place
Farm
" I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92. "
Since
Me
Hit
" I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do. "
Doing
Just
Keep
" I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie. "
Out
Know
Person
" I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers. "
Why
Brothers
Comedies
" I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese. "
Greek
Cheese
Body
" I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something. "
Back
School
Run
" I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it. That's if I'm in the mood - sometimes I get superbummed. "
You
Light
Baby
" Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious. "
Me
Funny
Rudeness
" I talk to younger actor types, and they bring up that word, 'brand,' and it's like, 'All right, if that's the way you want to look at yourself.' Diet Pepsi's a brand; you're a human being. "
Diet
Yourself
You
" I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging. "
Powerful
Think
Laugh
" I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny. "
Track
Think
Funny
" I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night. "
Every Day
Day
Night
" It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me.' Being popular is poison. "
Good
Comedy
Thanks
" I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that. "
Heads
Way
Anger
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