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" I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do. "
Zach Galifianakis
Doing
Just
Keep
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" There was a long time where I was an 'artist' in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend. "
Zach Galifianakis
Long
Time
Money
" Some people can be choosy because they're ultratalented or lucky or whatever, but yeah, there are certain things that might not be the greatest thing on my resume. But I don't sit back and go, 'Gosh, I wish I didn't do that.' It's all part of the growth of a career, whether you're an entertainer or a librarian. "
Zach Galifianakis
People
Growth
Wish
" I've been wanting kids for 10 years. I'd love to adopt, have them naturally - all of it. I want, like, 15. "
Zach Galifianakis
Love
Wanting
Years
" Hollywood's built on insecurity. People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way. "
Zach Galifianakis
Trying
People
Guilty
" I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling. "
Zach Galifianakis
Ryan
Next
Am
" Have you seen that show on Lifetime about that woman...? "
Zach Galifianakis
Woman
About
Lifetime
" I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it. "
Zach Galifianakis
Am
Publicity
I Am
" My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis. "
Zach Galifianakis
Name
After
Hope
" We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics. "
Zach Galifianakis
Family
Coffee
Politics
" I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women. "
Zach Galifianakis
Never
Look
Years
" A fantasy of mine is to do a podcast that's Marcel Marceau and I, and you only hear me laughing at him and trying to figure out what he's doing. "
Zach Galifianakis
Doing
Trying
Him
" I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie. "
Zach Galifianakis
Out
Know
Person
" There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life. "
Zach Galifianakis
Live
Stupid
Think
" I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do. "
Zach Galifianakis
Feel
You
Monkey
" My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing. "
Zach Galifianakis
Him
Because
Understand
" People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions. "
Zach Galifianakis
People
Trying
Internet
" Privacy is big for me. To do interviews even, I have a very love/hate with it. "
Zach Galifianakis
Even
Big
Interviews
" That show, 'The Amazing Race' - is that about white people? "
Zach Galifianakis
Race
Amazing
White
" I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that. "
Zach Galifianakis
Past
Me
You
" I talk to younger actor types, and they bring up that word, 'brand,' and it's like, 'All right, if that's the way you want to look at yourself.' Diet Pepsi's a brand; you're a human being. "
Zach Galifianakis
Diet
Yourself
You
" I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it. That's if I'm in the mood - sometimes I get superbummed. "
Zach Galifianakis
You
Light
Baby
" I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something. "
Zach Galifianakis
Back
School
Run
" Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money. "
Zach Galifianakis
Good
Money
American
" I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night. "
Zach Galifianakis
Every Day
Day
Night
" Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person. "
Zach Galifianakis
New
Used
Person
" My real last name is Galifianakisburg. "
Zach Galifianakis
Real
Last
Name
" American society loves to prop people up and then take them down. "
Zach Galifianakis
People
American
Society
" When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically. "
Zach Galifianakis
Play
Role
Seems
" As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it. "
Zach Galifianakis
Lose
Place
Lost
" When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there. "
Zach Galifianakis
Thought
Funny
People