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" I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thought
Egypt
Country
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" Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Time
Art
Broken
" You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Despair
Like
Middle
" I'm a political conservative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Conservative
Political
" The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Washington
Mystery
" Ending wars is very simple if you surrender. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Simple
You
Surrender
" I believe in God. God created the world. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Believe
God
Created
" Until I carried my wife off to New Hampshire, she defined wilderness as the Bronx. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wife
Wilderness
Until
" I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Politics
Humor
" Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades of frayed patchwork, jury-rigging, and make-do clutter caused by Depression and war. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
Depression
Future
" Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Divorce
Legal
Children
" Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ranges from the bland to the fancifully bland. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sand
Time
Size
" A person has got to balance work and life and family in order to be a balanced person. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Person
Work
Balance
" Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Force
Things
Monopolies
" Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Believe
Day
America
" I was never a Democrat. I went from Republican to Maoist and then back again. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Back
Democrat
Never
" The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Teacher
School
Problem
" Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Most
Something
Exercise
" If government were a product, selling it would be illegal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Would
Selling
" Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Economics
Mine
Obsession
" Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists, and the rest of the altruistic scum of the earth. Why do these people want to feel good? They want to feel good in order to convince themselves that they are good. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Earth
Good
" Writing is agony. I hate it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Writing
Agony
Hate
" Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Mature
You
" Writing on a computer makes saving what's been written too easy. Pretentious lead sentences are kept, not tossed. Instead of sitting surrounded by crumpled paper, the computerized writer has his mistakes neatly stored in digital memory. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Easy
Writing
Sitting
" Charles McCarry is the best modern writer on the subject of intrigue - by the breadth of Alan Furst, by the fathom of Eric Ambler, by any measure. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Measure
Intrigue
Best
" I don't watch much television. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Television
Much
Watch
" The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Proven
IQ
Average
" Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Making
Fun
" Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Old People
People
Crazy
" If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Know
Words
Politics
" The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Kiss
Holiday