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" Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing. "
Kevin Nealon
Who
Pleaser
Basically
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" I am very romantic. In fact, I just renewed my vows... although it was with another woman. "
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" I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals. "
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" Print is definitely more nutritious. When I leave a website, I'm hungry again an hour later - especially the Chinese websites. "
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" I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game. "
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" I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me. "
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" Standup really is a young man's game, a single young man's game. Even when I was younger, when I wasn't single, it was hard to be on the road because you go through relationships because your girlfriend kinda got tired of you being gone. "
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" I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor. "
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" I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past. "
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" With music, you're laying it all out there. They're judging you right away, and you can lose them quick. With the comedy, you've always got another joke to redeem yourself. Or, even if you've only got one joke, at least the punch line is at the end. Then they have to at least pay attention until the end. "
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Yourself
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" I've been involved in animal issues for quite a while, going back 24 years. I started reading up on factory farming and slaughterhouses and animal cruelty, and it didn't make sense for me to be part of it. "
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Me
Reading
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" Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness. "
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" When I would see my friends with their kids, I was envious that you can use children to get out of just about anything. If you don't feel like going to a dinner party, you could say, 'My kid's sick. I can't make it.' Who's gonna argue with you? "
Kevin Nealon
You
Friends
Children
" I see the love in my child's eyes when he sees me, and I know it's gigantic. As an older person, I've been in love before, and I've loved, but this is really an immense, out-of-control-proportion amount of love that you can't even describe. "
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Loved
Know
Eyes
" I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another. "
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Myself
Game
Birds
" When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while. "
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" I really like to read when I'm eating - 'The New York Times' or the 'Wall Street Journal,' paper version. "
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New
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Street
" Definitely not a TV junkie. I only record shows I want to see but usually never get around to watching them. "
Kevin Nealon
Want
Get
See
" As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit. "
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Live
Little
You
" If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit. "
Kevin Nealon
Little
Numb
People
" What happened was, I always wanted to be a singer/songwriter kind of guy like a James Taylor or Crosby, Stills and Nash type of thing; I went to a lot of coffee houses and used to watch all those guys, but I never had the nerve to get up and do it because singing seems so personal and intimate to me. It was too revealing. "
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Coffee
Me
Always
" I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push. "
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Push
Eye
Lazy
" I always tell people if you think you are susceptible to a blood clot, go check with your doctor. "
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Think
Blood
Doctor
" I'm a member of the Studio City Driving Range. They have a nice little par-3 AstroTurf course and driving range. You know, I don't belong to a course because I don't golf that much, so it's not worth it for me to join a club. "
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Driving
" You see things through a different lens when you have a child. "
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" To this day, I haven't felt like I've made it. I'm waiting for them to pull the rug out from under me. I kind of feel like George Plimpton; I'm just experiencing this whole business with the really talented people. "
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Feel
Business
People
" It was football I enjoyed most. When I moved to L.A. to become a stand-up comedian, I thought it might be a good comedy hook to also be the punter for USFL club The L.A. Express, so I started practicing for the tryouts. Luckily, my stand-up took off, and I didn't need to do it. "
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Comedy
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Good
" When I first began doing TV pilots, my expectations were high. I didn't understand that world. So when 'Weeds' took off, I was so happy. Especially as I was just a guest star in the pilot. But once it got picked up, they made me a regular cast member. "
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Happy
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" As you get older, subconsciously you start thinking about mortality and protecting your offspring. It opens up a whole new avenue of life experiences. "
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New
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" Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want. "
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Want
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Exactly
" I tend to listen to Sirius XM Radio. "
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Listen
Radio
Tend