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" You see things through a different lens when you have a child. "
Kevin Nealon
Child
Different
Things
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" I was 5-foot-8 when I graduated high school, but then I shot up to 6-foot-4 and got more into playing basketball. "
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" Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing. "
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" A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!' "
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" I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals. "
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" Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled. "
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" As you get older, subconsciously you start thinking about mortality and protecting your offspring. It opens up a whole new avenue of life experiences. "
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" I always tell people if you think you are susceptible to a blood clot, go check with your doctor. "
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" I've been involved in animal issues for quite a while, going back 24 years. I started reading up on factory farming and slaughterhouses and animal cruelty, and it didn't make sense for me to be part of it. "
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" I just loved stand-up comics as a kid. I'd watch them on 'The Tonight Show,' and I thought what a great craft it was to come out on stage with no instrument or anything and be able to entertain people. "
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People
Watch
Thought
" You really have to be ambitious and have that drive to really become well known and successful as a standup. "
Kevin Nealon
Become
Successful
Well
" I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push. "
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Push
Eye
Lazy
" Definitely not a TV junkie. I only record shows I want to see but usually never get around to watching them. "
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Want
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" I am very romantic. In fact, I just renewed my vows... although it was with another woman. "
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" I was born in St. Louis; I lived there for three weeks and then my father graduated from St. Louis University, so we all got in the car and split. I don't really remember much. I grew up in Connecticut most of my life and then four years in Germany. My father worked for a helicopter company, so we went over there. "
Kevin Nealon
Father
Life
My Life
" I think having a child makes you calm down. You sit still. "
Kevin Nealon
Down
You
Think
" I feel guilty: when I'm not golfing, I feel like I should be golfing. And when I'm golfing, I feel like I should be home working or spending time with the family. So it's a real conundrum. "
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Home
Family
Feel
" All I ever wanted to do was stand-up. It kind of charges me and gives me a rush. "
Kevin Nealon
Me
Ever
Rush
" Every time I think of Doug Wilson, I think 'pathetic.' When it comes between something for himself or something for righteousness, he'll choose himself. "
Kevin Nealon
Righteousness
Think
Time
" I think I definitely would have ended up in some kind of show business. I was very interested in music when I was younger. This was back when Crosby, Stills and Nash were around. "
Kevin Nealon
Music
Show
Kind
" A novel is too much of a commitment. I tend to peruse Twitter - I check to see if I had any mentions and read the latest messages. "
Kevin Nealon
Check
Commitment
See
" Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want. "
Kevin Nealon
Want
Dead
Exactly
" I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere. "
Kevin Nealon
Watching
Unique
Job
" If you want a transcript of tonight's program, get a pen and write down everything I said. "
Kevin Nealon
You
Everything
Down
" When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while. "
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Young
Style
People
" I've done this commercial with Arnold Palmer. He doesn't play that much anymore, but it'd be fun to have him in the cart. "
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Him
Fun
Done
" A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. "
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Boomers
Baby Boomers
Funny
" A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material. "
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Stand-Up
Special
You
" I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another. "
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Game
Birds
" Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses. "
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More
" I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past. "
Kevin Nealon
Travel
Work
Together