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" For fast-acting relief try slowing down. "

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" I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. "

" You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. "

" Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. "

" Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. "

" I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that. "

" What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring. "

" Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? "

" It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. "

" Remember we're all in this alone. "

" I think my politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them. "

" If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? "

" Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. "

" Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. "

" Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? "

" I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. "

" What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch. "

" I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war. "

" I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. "

" We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company. "

" You don't really need to get married, but marriage is awfully nice. Everybody I know who got married, they say it really makes a difference. They feel very, very happy about it. "

" I guess that's one of the reasons that you do it - work all the time - because it's sort of a high to find something that really works. "

" We're all in this alone. "

" Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. "

" I mean yes to act out something or take chances in the performance is one thing. But in terms of a camera, whatever's captured is captured so that's a little more daunting. "

" I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain. "

" The best mind-altering drug is the truth. "

" The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. "

" No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. "

" When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store. "

" The road to success is always under construction. "