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" Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. "
Lily Tomlin
Things
Before
Lot
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" If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed. "
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" Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? "
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" I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. "
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" What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch. "
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" If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less. "
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Like
Settle
Been
" Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use. "
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Characters
Use
Just
" Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. "
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Need
Man
Complain
" Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. "
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Leading
Cause
Touch
" If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed. "
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Well
You
Watch
" No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. "
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Up
You
Enough
" For fast-acting relief try slowing down. "
Lily Tomlin
Try
Slowing
Down
" I mean yes to act out something or take chances in the performance is one thing. But in terms of a camera, whatever's captured is captured so that's a little more daunting. "
Lily Tomlin
Performance
Yes
Mean
" What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains. "
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Think
Appreciate
Audience
" The road to success is always under construction. "
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Success
Construction
Road
" The best mind-altering drug is the truth. "
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Best
Truth
" When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store. "
Lily Tomlin
Dog
Walk
Money
" Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. "
Lily Tomlin
Imagination
My Own
Feel
" I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. "
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Up
Thinking
Person
" I think my politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them. "
Lily Tomlin
Politics
Education
People
" I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. "
Lily Tomlin
Homework
Teacher
You
" But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money. "
Lily Tomlin
Money
Cost
Much
" Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing. "
Lily Tomlin
Laughing
Working
Then
" I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types. "
Lily Tomlin
Always
Types
More
" If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? "
Lily Tomlin
Love
You
Question
" You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. "
Lily Tomlin
Hard
Interesting
You
" I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war. "
Lily Tomlin
Profit
Would
War
" The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. "
Lily Tomlin
Win
You
Race
" I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. "
Lily Tomlin
Always
Somebody
Something
" Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? "
Lily Tomlin
Us
God
Said
" Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. "
Lily Tomlin
Government
Two
Decent