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" France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.' "

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" Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. "

" Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest. "

" In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued. "

" When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. "

" Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time. "

" When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart. "

" Variety is the spice of love. "

" There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them. "

" No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time. "

" A fool and her money are soon courted. "

" Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her? "

" Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him. "

" What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love. "

" Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man. "

" Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her. "

" Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. "

Falling In Love

" A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor. "

" Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it. "

" Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. "

" Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification. "

" A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest. "

" When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to. "

" When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last. "

" The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. "

" Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. "

" Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them. "

" And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them. "

" Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. "

" A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it. "

" When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. "