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" Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest. "

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" There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age. "

" Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification. "

" Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. "

" Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds. "

" After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her. "

" No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time. "

" There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them. "

" Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her? "

" When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last. "

" Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man. "

" A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "

" And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them. "

" It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. "

" When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. "

" Variety is the spice of love. "

" A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet. "

" Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it. "

" A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. "

" When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. "

" The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. "

" When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart. "

" To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. "

" Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. "

Falling In Love

" A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest. "

" When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to. "

" Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her. "

" Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. "

" Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. "

" A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. "

" Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "