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" 'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going. "

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" I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs. "

" People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are. "

" TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. "

" Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test. "

" Being a celebrity, you always get really good seats to sporting events, but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. "

" I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys. "

" I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them. "

" I looked at game show hosting as the bottom of the totem pole, one step away from infomercials. I never watched them myself. However, it's been a lot of fun. "

" I'm down to earth; people sense that and they appreciate it. "

" I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun. "

" The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can. "

" After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine. "

" I love doing 'The Price is Right.' It's so much fun. I love meeting everybody and giving out prizes, especially when it's not my money. It's really a happy place, and everybody is all jazzed up. "

" We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again. "

" I could still eat a cheeseburger if I wanted to. I just can't have them every day. "

" I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better. "

" Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you. "

" Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better. "

" If you're wearing a Bluetooth thing and you've got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That's a really good social status indicator. "

" When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off. "

" I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. "

" I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything. "

Change The World

" I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck. "

" You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. "

" The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name. "

" I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done. "

" Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one. "

" TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure. "

" Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label. "

" There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game. "