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" I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them. "

Drew Carey

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Nobody

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" Reality shows always look for the worst people. "

" I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. "

" I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me. "

" 'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going. "

" But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy. "

" TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure. "

" Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there. "

" I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have. "

" I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself. "

" There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it. "

" I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there. "

" You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. "

" Nothing's funny about someone who's successful. "

" There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's face practically in the whole room. There's no cameras in the way, and it's just me. "

" International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team. "

" 'The Price Is Right,' it was an honor to be offered it because it's such an American institution. To be able to carry on this tradition with a show that has been on for so long, I thought it was a great opportunity for me. "

" I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them. "

" When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off. "

" That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment. "

" TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. "

" I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian. "

" There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game. "

" When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games. "

" I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson. "

" What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously. "

" I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck. "

" I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas. You can pretty much do it all day and all night if you want to. "

" Exercise is the main thing that helped me lose weight. "