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" Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better. "

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" The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job. "

" I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else. "

" I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them. "

" Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there. "

" 'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going. "

" I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated. "

" I'm the kind of person that likes what I'm doing when I'm doing it. "

" I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody. "

" I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better. "

" I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.' "

" I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas. You can pretty much do it all day and all night if you want to. "

" We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again. "

" The easiest diet is, you know, eat vegetables, eat fresh food. Just a really sensible healthy diet like you read about all the time. "

" I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites. "

" As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed. "

" I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them. "

" I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs. "

" I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it. "

" I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet. "

" For 'Power of 10,' you can look at the methodology at CBS.com, it's a company called Rasmussen Reports. We poll thousands and thousands of people for each question, a real cross section of the United States. "

" If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist. That was my other dream job. "

" It doesn't matter how smart you are; to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day. "

" I work with a place in Santa Monica called Phase IV. My doctor recommended them to me when I started losing weight. They help people train for things like triathlons or biking and running races. They offer physical therapists, testing, lectures. "

" At 'Price Is Right,' people feel so safe there and loved. And if you can't jump around on 'Price is Right,' then you can't jump around anywhere, you know? "

" The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can. "

" The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name. "

" Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar. "

" I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there. "

" TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure. "

" You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. "