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" Hosting is a thankless job. "

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" I don't really know how to act that much. I'm quite good at comedy, but it's mostly acting naturally. "

" It is good to connect to someone who reminds you that you have some real authenticity. "

" I feel like I've forcefully been thrust into the tech world, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. "

" I think I'm just a comedian who's a pretty good con man, and I don't see that changing any time soon. "

" I do comedy to give people an ephemeral escape from the tragedy that permeates everyday life. "

" I try to be an ethical, moral person and a nice person, and I like to have that reflected in my comedy. I'm not a mean comedian, and I don't think that my comedy is mean. I think that for the most part, it's more focused on the diversity that we all handle and try to provide a distraction from the disaster of modern living. "

" Stuff that I write isn't as similar to the stuff that I'm in, but I don't really care. I just do comedy. "

" I feel a strong affinity to Ke$ha and Katy Perry and a lot of these women who are really pushing the girl power femme fatale thing. It's fun, and it's unapologetic, and they tell women they can do whatever they want, and that's true, and that's a message that I want to carry, to tell girls they can do whatever they want. "

" I actually prefer Twitter as a medium, and I also got into Periscope for a second, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it. I can't figure out if the only important thing about it is the live broadcast, or if it's an interesting kind of way to log what you do. "

" I acted in high school and studied at the British American Drama Academy in Oxford for one summer. I minored in theater, and I was always acting growing up and stuff, but really, I was just more interested in the comedy of it all. So for me, it's always comedy, and then acting is just one medium of comedy. "

" Comedy gives you a shot of euphoria that distracts you from everything that's awful. "

" Everybody asks me what it was like to be in my underwear for my network television debut. "

" I don't sit and write stand-up material; I come up with an idea onstage. "

" It's always fun to agree to be in a movie when you have no idea what it's actually going to be! "

" I was the Head Boy of East High School in 1999. I represent 303 - the area code, not the band - Mile High, until I die. I'm 31, a comedian; I juggle, but I don't glove it. I think waxed mustaches run a very thin line between hipster and 1800s barkeep. "

" I can't stand Snapchat, but that will be extinct before it is relevant. "

" We try and reflect that there's a lot of optimism, there's a lot of positive things that are happening in 'Silicon Valley'. "

" I like hip-hop, but I don't like concerts. There's, like, sweat on people's backs. "

" I'm always so amazed by which performances work really, really well and which ones don't. But I think it's just mostly, 'She's Out Of My League,' so many people saw that movie on DVD and on the plane. Just millions of people saw that movie. That's the reason I'm somewhat famous. "

" Some people in Silicon Valley are as bad as the 'Koch Brothers', you know? Don't be mistaken. For every some of those, though, you get people who come up with something like 'Leafly', which does what 'Yelp' has done, but in a much more specific way, and it's important because it's the dawn of this new era. "

" I'm a Nietzschean scholar. I've read an immense amount about nihilism and existentialism. "

" We're not a nation divided: we're a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed. "

" Every time I could possibly be doing stand up, I am. "

" I don't know how much the economy has changed since Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.' "

" I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man. "

" I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers. "

" I consider myself a fairly ethical individual while I do have a lot of dichotomies within me. We're all victims of our own hypocrisy at times. "

" I wouldn't want to be Superman. Batman would be cool. But the one I've always wanted to play is the Joker. There is a maniacal and dangerous side to me. "

" People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars. "

" There's sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy. But I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff. "