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" I consider myself a fairly ethical individual while I do have a lot of dichotomies within me. We're all victims of our own hypocrisy at times. "

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" I wouldn't want to be Superman. Batman would be cool. But the one I've always wanted to play is the Joker. There is a maniacal and dangerous side to me. "

" I feel like I've forcefully been thrust into the tech world, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. "

" I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers. "

" The moment in which you make somebody laugh, you're only doing it to make them laugh and be happy. Then afterward you can be like, 'Oh, I just want the attention. I feel so good that everybody's listening to me and I got the approval that I need.' "

" I have perfectly symmetrical ankles. "

" I love mispronunciations. I love when people mispronounce things. "

" There's sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy. But I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff. "

" I told the Mucinex people, 'You picked me because I always sound sick'. They were like, 'Well, it doesn't hurt'. "

" It's okay to take yourself too seriously if you're a serious actor and you've got the scrubs on. And then with me, it's kind of like, well, I'm a comedian, I'm making fun of everybody and everything. And I'm making fun of myself. I'm having fun making fun of and for other people. "

" I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" I can't stand Snapchat, but that will be extinct before it is relevant. "

" Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird. "

" I don't really know how to act that much. I'm quite good at comedy, but it's mostly acting naturally. "

" To become the best comedian, I must be well-rounded. "

" I don't know that I would host the Golden Globes or the Emmys because I don't think they have the appreciation for irreverence that the Critics Choice does. "

" J. P. Morgan. He was kind of a douche. "

" There is no place for a person like me in a world that only takes itself seriously. Satire is so necessary but fairly ineffective. "

" We try and reflect that there's a lot of optimism, there's a lot of positive things that are happening in 'Silicon Valley'. "

" It's much better to wreak havoc on a show and be a maniac than promote myself. Plugs and anecdotes aren't really in line with my beliefs. Besides, if someone sees me on a morning show and thinks, 'That's not funny; this guy is crazy,' then I don't want them to come to the show anyway. "

" People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars. "

" My father always said I have a face for radio, and 'Cloverfield' was one of my finest pieces of work. "

" I like hip-hop, but I don't like concerts. There's, like, sweat on people's backs. "

" I'm a Nietzschean scholar. I've read an immense amount about nihilism and existentialism. "

" I love writing but not crazy meticulous/prepared enough to be a director. I'd work as a gaffer on something. "

" When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you're like, 'Come on, dude.' Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, 'I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.' That's what I recommend: Act like you don't care, but take care of your body. "

" Hosting is a thankless job. "

" I know about the tech industry in that I follow what apps are hot and software development. I know my way around different browsers. I know how to restart a computer. "

" It's always fun to agree to be in a movie when you have no idea what it's actually going to be! "

" I love Denver. "

" I do comedy to give people an ephemeral escape from the tragedy that permeates everyday life. "