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" I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers. "

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" The moment in which you make somebody laugh, you're only doing it to make them laugh and be happy. Then afterward you can be like, 'Oh, I just want the attention. I feel so good that everybody's listening to me and I got the approval that I need.' "

T. J. Miller

Be Happy

Good

Happy

" It's always fun to agree to be in a movie when you have no idea what it's actually going to be! "

" There is no place for a person like me in a world that only takes itself seriously. Satire is so necessary but fairly ineffective. "

" I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles. "

" I consider myself a fairly ethical individual while I do have a lot of dichotomies within me. We're all victims of our own hypocrisy at times. "

T. J. Miller

Own

Myself

" When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you're like, 'Come on, dude.' Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, 'I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.' That's what I recommend: Act like you don't care, but take care of your body. "

" Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" Hosting is a thankless job. "

" I feel a strong affinity to Ke$ha and Katy Perry and a lot of these women who are really pushing the girl power femme fatale thing. It's fun, and it's unapologetic, and they tell women they can do whatever they want, and that's true, and that's a message that I want to carry, to tell girls they can do whatever they want. "

" I try to be an ethical, moral person and a nice person, and I like to have that reflected in my comedy. I'm not a mean comedian, and I don't think that my comedy is mean. I think that for the most part, it's more focused on the diversity that we all handle and try to provide a distraction from the disaster of modern living. "

" Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird. "

" Effective satire has to be almost identical to the subject that it is skewering. "

" I can't stand Snapchat, but that will be extinct before it is relevant. "

" It's much better to wreak havoc on a show and be a maniac than promote myself. Plugs and anecdotes aren't really in line with my beliefs. Besides, if someone sees me on a morning show and thinks, 'That's not funny; this guy is crazy,' then I don't want them to come to the show anyway. "

" I always like to have a buffer between me and journalism in general. Not just a reporter, but journalism. "

T. J. Miller

Always

" To become the best comedian, I must be well-rounded. "

" Every time I could possibly be doing stand up, I am. "

T. J. Miller

I Am

Stand

" I love writing but not crazy meticulous/prepared enough to be a director. I'd work as a gaffer on something. "

" I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" There's sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy. But I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff. "

" You just put yourself into your work, and you can do anything you want, depending on how hard you want to work for it. "

" I sound like a chain-smoking drag queen after a hard night of singing 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon'. "

" Mike Judge is my Jonathan Swift, and I say that because I don't know any other satirists. But the problem with satire is that it's so easily misinterpreted. "

" Everybody asks me what it was like to be in my underwear for my network television debut. "

T. J. Miller

Debut

" One of the exciting things about an entanglement puzzle is there's no end to it. Once you solve how to take it apart, you have to solve how to put it back together. "

" Mucinex were like, 'Would you like to be the Mucinex man? You sound like you're sick right now'. In each spot, they give me a little bit of room to do something strange. And in a world of fractured mediums, where there is no zeitgeist, and you get your comedy from your phone, it's all content. "

T. J. Miller

Phone

Man

" Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested. "

" I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff. "

" I love mispronunciations. I love when people mispronounce things. "

" My face is oblong. But the best grooming is confidence. "